Last night we went out to eat with a couple friends. My dd was her usual charming self, singing, dancing, talking to her imaginary friends...until we ordered. Then she got squirmy. So I get up and take her to the restroom, all goes well there. We return to our seats, our food arrives, she goes under the table, I know what she's doing...she does it everytime we go out to eat EVERYTIME!!!

Yes my dd is 3 1/2 and no she is not fully potty trained, we've been working on it for a year, but she is still in pull ups. She go on the potty if she can take herself, but she will not tell anybody when she needs to go!

So I take her back to the restroom, clean her and have the potty talk...she gets a little attidude so I reprimend her and she smacks my hand (oh yeah it gets worse!). I make her
sit on a bench and have a time out. After a minute I sit with her to talk, as I'm talking she reaches up and slaps me across the face!!! She knew she was in trouble, you could see it on her face.

I remained calmed. I picked her up, laid her across my lap and spanked her. Then I picked her up gave her a hug and told her that I loved her no matter what...but what she did was very wrong, she should never ever hit me no matter how angry she is. She said "I'm sorry Mommy," in a quiet little voice. We talked for another mintute about how she should act when we returned to the table and then left the restroom.

When my daughter was younger I tried to never to return a slap with another. I always assumed this would teach her to hit more. However she's older now and at times she's a bully. She got quite the temper. she'll never tattle on someone in daycare, she'll just push or hit back instead. She's in timeout a lot! I talk to her about this everyday, I'm not quite sure how else to handle it. I know I'm the passive type myself so I have a hard time relating to this.

Did I handle this okay? Is there something else I should be doing? I could definetly use some advice from c-moms who have gone through this stage.

Lisa

Rhyanne is 21 months but we seem to be at the hitting stage early. She is in daycare while I work so I have found that she learns things like this from other children. I have found that something swift and somewhat harsh for spanking an adult or backtalking are necessary. I do spank for her spanking me. I know that it might be seen as hypocritical but I feel that it works the best for me.

When she backtalks I take two fingers and lightly tap her mouth. Not enough to hurt her really but she doesn't like to be tapped in the mouth and it makes her realize that what she did wrong was what she said. For hitting I spank on the hand since that is what they used.

It may be wrong but for now it is working.

Willie is 4 and he hits/slaps all the time if we don't keep on top of his therapy. He's seeking that proprioceptive input.
I think talking to her is a good idea, keep setting a good example, and add some joint-jarring activity to her day, such as jumping, dancing, 'tug of war' type things. With Willie, several OTs (occupational therapists) said they see a lot of kids who aren't trying to be bad, they just need that input and will get it any way they can.
If it works, great, if not, well at least you're both getting exercise even tho it's winter out :lol:

Best of luck!

The last time my son slapped me, he was about 2 1/2 years old and really hit me hard in the face, brought tears to me eyes. I slapped his face back, not hard, but enough to shock him and he has never done it again. He sometimes will make a motion like he is going to hit me, but keeps himself from doing it. With backtalking and being particularly disrespectful to me or other people, I "flick" his mouth. I don't really have to do it anymore- he knows better at this point (he's 3 1/2) and if I simply make the gesture, he apologizes and stops being fresh. I do also try as Rachel said to provide him with ample time to play "rough" and channel his abundance of energy by jumping, doing "tricks," exercise, wrestling, etc.

I'm going through that stage right now. I think you did a good job at handling it. I pretty much do the same with my dd. I know some think that you shouldn't spank because it will teach kids that hitting is okay but i don't agree with that. I think you need to do what is best for you and your child and if it works then why change it.

I admit she has been inside a bit more than usual, we have no yard for her to play in. I try to take her to playgrounds and parks but sometimes I guess I get caught up in my endless housework.

I am still amazed at how much attitude a three year old can have. Sometimes its like I'm looking at a teenager. My dh and I both agree we must nip it in the bud now, or else we will pay later.

I think you handled it exactly right. There is a big difference in her slapping you in anger and you calmly spanking her. She knows the difference too. Three was a lot harder for us than 2 was. They get quite an attitude! :shock:

You handled it very well. It is probably a stage she is going through and you have to address it. Working with kids all day at school I see lots of aggresive behavior that should have been addressed when the children were younger so I think you're doing the right thing. Stephanie :D

Been there, done that.

It's wonderful that you stayed calm and controlled. [claphigh] Your dd definitely needed some kind of consequence, but I think I might have waited until I got home. I would be very leary of spanking in public places and at 3 1/2, she is probably old enough to remember her actions when you get home.