I'm really upset about this. My doctor wants it done and I do too. We got into an argument over the phone while I was at work. He wants children just as bad as I do, so I don't get it. He told he's not the issue. At that point I was close to tears. Here's some background on me:

My previous doctor diagnosed me with PCOS back in March and told me to chart when I had AF for the next 6 months. That's all she wanted to do. I found a new doctor the end of May and he's great. He says I'm ovulating, but I'm ovulating on cycle day 20. He based this from my June temperature chart. This month he has me using OPK's along with it. He wants to put me on Metformin and Femara after the results of my HSG they're doing next month.

So this is why my husband refuses to get it done. I just look at it as a process of eliminating why we aren't pregnant yet.

Should I just forget about it?

If you're my age I'd wait to see if your treatments work. I planning on going in and possibly trying drugs too, and suspect my hubby would also want to put off any tests on his end.

Hi Rachel. I'm 33 and he's 32. I guess I can give it some more time, but it's getting hard. Some of my friends have popped up pregnant, co-workers pregnant, women at my church pregnant. There are times I've cried myself to sleep. Then I feel guilty knowing there's women out there who has tried for years to get pregnant and I've only been trying 7 months.
I'm leaving all this in God's hands.

It can be a long hard journey-I've watched 2 of my siblings deal with infertility and it is a tough thing to deal with. I think most of the time it is embarrassing for men to take the tests and it's hard for them to admit there may be something physically wrong with them, especially when it comes to something along these lines, KWIM? I'd say communicate with him openly and pray pray pray!!

Hi Missy,
I would put off on testing dh as well. Just keep praying and wait until your tests clear. 7 months is a long time when you're ttc, but in the medical world it isn't long enough.
A lot of it does have to do with timing. Have you read the book Taking Charge of your Fertility?
If not I would suggest picking a copy up at the library or ordering one.
Also you mentioned that you are charting! That's awesome. We have some great Chart stalkers on C-moms and if you do it through Fertility Friend we can stalk your charts.
You may not be ovulating the same time each month, stress can delay things extremely and sometimes it can come so much earlier.
But keep praying and try to relax, it truly is in God's timing.

Oh Missy, I feel your pain! We've been ttc for just over 3 years now and when I first talked to dh about getting tested, it was about 2 years ago and we had exactly the same kind of argument...

Because I didn't want him to feel pressure about the whole thing, I went ahead with all my tests (found out everything's fine with me) and then decided to explore the adoption route, since that was the way dh was leaning. We had some REALLY good talks after each of the sessions we went to, and I ended up being able to tell him much more of how I was feeling and he understood. Obviously God's been working on his heart because just a couple of months ago, he told me he'd be willing to get checked out if it would help me through the process.

So it's taken *quite* a while for us to get to this point, but we just sent in his 2nd sample last week. (They often want 2 to compare) Now our struggle... ok, really I should say MY struggle [halo]... is that the results are in but dh doesn't want to go get them and talk about anything 'cause of work issues/stress and us going away on vacation a lot this summer. Looks like I'm going to have to continue being patient until the fall. But I'm ok with that - I know everything will happen in God's timing and I'm learning to rest in that knowledge.

Praying for you, my sister, that you would find the same peace and be willing and able to submit to your dh in order to better support him.

Sarah

Hi Missy - I don't post in this section, let alone read posts in this section often but wanted to weigh in. You've been given some great responses and encouragement already here.

I think it is really difficult for men when it comes to ttc-ing and pregnancy and children in general. Most husbands want children. For as difficult as it is for women not to conceive, I think sometimes it is harder on men. Especially if they think they might be a problem. Men thrive on ego and being the head, the provider and the moment they might be the issue, they struggle.

You see testing as a way of ruling out or taking care of a problem.
He sees testing as a possible way of pointing out yet another downfall of him.

Even if you don't see it that way, he does more than likely. Good, christian husbands take their sense of husband/father responsibility very serious, even if they don't express it or talk about it. But generally it comes out in reactions like your husband's when there is a possible problem.

My suggestion, don't push the issue at all. By arguing, you might even be reinforcing in his mind the lie that you think he is the problem. So often we just associate feelings of inadequacy and self-esteem towards women, but in American society I suspect men are more of a risk.

Glad you found c'moms and praying you have a baby breakthrough soon...hugs

TTC is hard and frustrating. try not to focus too much on the testing , it is important i know, but try and listen to what god is telling you , am saying this because me and my hubby had trouble but all the way through i believed that god wanted us to have a child , i felt that , that was what he was saying in my heart , the difference is my hubby did go for testing and it wasn't brilliant but it didn't matter , because i knew god was going bless us, but it wasn't easy i cried a lot , praised a lot basically went the through all the emotions , but still deep down i heard gods voice . I guess what am trying to say is testing is important because it does show any probs , but our god is mighty and faithful and he is above all.

Wow. You ladies are awesome! I thank God for leading me to this site. I feel so encouraged reading all of your posts. And thank you all for responding.

I will lay off dh. We'll see how my testing goes and I'll just continuously pray. I know that whatever the outcome, God has the final say. He has done too many things for me over the years to ever lose faith in Him. I'm definitely gonna get the book mentioned, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm also gonna check our fertilty friend. I would love for all of you to be able to see my charts.

My dh is gonna be one happy camper tonight! :-D

Hi Missy.
I just wanted to encourage you to just keep praying for your dh. I agree with all the other responses. If your husband wants children just as bad as you do, he will come around in time if there hasn't been a pregnancy. The Lord will do the work in him while you are doing your part.

Welcome to c-moms!