I started leaving Preston in the church nursery once he was about 3-4 months old. When he was content nursing or sleeping during the service, he stayed with me. Once he got to the point of "interest" and I thought he may disturb others, I started putting him in the nursery.

I know I'm ultra sensitive these days it seems, but my dh's neice really irked me today. She told me that is why she doesn't go to church because leaving your child in the nursery is just leaving them with strangers and she is not going to leave her children with strangers.

I told her our church does background checks on everyone who serves in the children's ministry. I know this because I serve and had to have a background check. Also, I wanted to become involved myself so I got to know lots of people that serve and I also became pretty good friends with the Preschool minister.

So, I don't feel like I'm forking my kids over to a bunch of strangers--even if I may not know them "personally".

Just wondering if you guys leave your kid(s) in the nursery and if you consider them strangers.

Lori :D

I have and do leave my babies in the nursery. It felt tough with my first and little easier with my second. You know the way i see it is that the Lord is in control and He will watch over my kids no matter who is watching them and were they are. I have been in the children's ministry before and i know that their are steps that are taken before they allow you to become a teacher such as background checks like you mentioned and we also fill out applications that have to do with how are walks with the Lord are. Anyhow, that is my opinion on it i definetly wouldn't want not leaving my kids in the nursery to be a reason why i don't go to church. :?

I started putting my DD in the church nursery when she was just under a year. We have a nursing room in our church that has a TV in it, and the service is broadcast in there, so nursing moms can see the service even if their babies are crying. I know most of the people in our church, so I wasn't ever worried about that, they also do a huge training thing along with background checks and a waiting period after you start attending the church to be in the nursery. I didn't put DD in the nursery until she was older because I nursed, well she nursed A LOT still, and I just enjoyed being with her, and with our nursing room, it made it possible and comfortable to keep her with me. Most of the Moms at our church are the same way though. At first it was hard leaving her, but now she pretty much doesn't care and has a great time, so why should I worry?
I think if your friend is using her children as an excuse to not go to church, then she has serious issues that are probably not connected to her kids.....the Lord wouldn't command us to fellowship and worship if he felt we wouldn't be able to with children, and he says they are a blessing, not a hinderance to life, so it seems like she is just using them as an escape to the real problem. I would encourage you to pray for her and maybe try and talk to her about what's really going on.

Amber

We did - until the church moved all the leaders around and we found that the new bunch of leaders were completely unfriendly and would not even greet us when we came into the room, so we basically were left to hand the kids over to "no one" we became concerned as the "carers" would sit on the table and stare at us, no one would know who's kid was whos - so for me, if the leaders are taking note of parents, making sure they introduce themselves and I get a check in my spirit they are fine, then yes I leave them in the nursery. If they are rude, unfriendly and don't care then no I don't leave my kids.

Also the church decided that "babies under 1" were no longer "allowed" to be left in the nursery... I guess that is fair enough.

We also found out after the fact that these leaders were not supervising children properly and kids were being "beaten" by other children, including my DD who would come out crying because she had been pushed over and hit with rulers, punched, kicked by other children.

I don't personally believe background checks are worth a pinch of salt.
If someone has been "up to no good" it just may not have been reported.
Even Police Clearances are useless after the minute they are issued.

I really do think before leaving the kids with anyone, whether they are a professing Christian or not, one needs to PRAY.

My opinion is based on the fact that I know of TWO people who were molested by Sunday School leaders (my sister and a friend of the families daughter).

Aussie Mum

Our church believes in family worship and we have no nursery. If you want there is a place to go to with your children but you are the one responsible for going. We have many families with large numbers( some with as many as 14) of children and all the children sit with their parents. We do have some extraneous noises from time to time which we find acceptable. It kind of goes along with the home schoolng mind set. I know it isn't for everyone. But no worries about your youngins!

Our church believes in family worship and we have no nursery. If you want there is a place to go to with your children but you are the one responsible for going. We have many families with large numbers( some with as many as 14) of children and all the children sit with their parents. We do have some extraneous noises from time to time which we find acceptable. It kind of goes along with the home schoolng mind set. I know it isn't for everyone. But no worries about your youngins!

I think this is great! :D

We specifically chose a church that had the video pumped into a family rec area so that if you had a child that you didn't want in the nursery you could sit in there and watch and not disrupt anyone....we didn't use the nursery until about 17 months when he started saying simple words and being able to communicate on some level with us..........
Background checks are great, but churches don't pay for the extensive ones 99% of the time and so they are very limited and don't cross state lines or what have you...plus, trusting church communities can be a great hiding place for offenders. (My background and degrees are in Social Services and Criminal Justice, so I've seen it over and over before I opted to stay home with my little guy....makes me very leery and I personally have to fight not trusting anyone! I just swing way over to the safer than sorry side due to what I've seen and heard)
However, if you have a home church that you have been in for years and personally know the people watching your kids and trust them and feel comfortable with that, then great....we haven't lived where we are very long and so we don't have that luxury which makes it even harder because you don't know anyone--pastor, child care staff, congregation...I feel that in these situations, you should always keep your child with you for awhile first until you become more familiar and until you've met the teachers in the child's class and besides seeing them respond to you in person and getting a "gut check" on them, seeing if you like how they interact with the children, etc.....(some checks I use....doors with a small window so that you can stop and look in without disrupting or beind "kid detected" easily, or an open door policy that allows a person to drop in anytime to check up on a child (I know from teaching myself that this can get hairy, but it keeps teachers on the straight and narrow and doing their best if people can check on them at any time!)....also, if you child doesn't necessarily seem to like the room he's in...I ask permission the week before to come 30 minutes early and meet the teacher there with just us so he can get comfortable with her and the surroundings with me to check it all out too and to get to know the teacher better.

We pretty well do a 'family worship' as well. Though, we're a whopping 30 folks total on a FULL attendance day ;)
We do not have a nursery. No plans to have one. As Leslie said, we have a place to take them should you need it, but the parent is responsible for it, no workers on duty.

I believe in training children from a young age how to sit in church. The thoughest times are 9 mo and 18 mo I my experience hehe But, we make it. Dh and I take turns tending to the fiesty one.

Yes, this takes work and persistence from us, the parents. Yes, that means we don't always 'get' all of the message, but that's why we alternate and that's why we have more than one service a week and that's when our own personal study time comes into play ;)

Just my opinion on the matter

Depnds on how drowsy ds is :lol:! From about 4 months to 13 months ds did fine in the infant nursery, but after that he screams bloody murder if I try to leave him in there; he's a shy, only child so he is used to a pretty quiet life but the other babies his age are either from large families or are in full-time daycare. They are a lot more "socialized" than he is and quite frankly he is terrified of most of them (biters, hitters, kickers, toy-stealers, etc). He will only stay if one of the workers holds him the entire time or if I stay with him. We try to keep him in service, but as soon as he sees dh up front he starts squealing "dada! dada!" which is cute, but still disruptive. So if he is tried enough to fall asleep he stays in service with me, but if not I stay in the nursery with him. I know all of the workers, so I am comfortable leaving him, but not until he is ready.

Our church doesn't have a nursery. If they did, I wouldn't leave my DD in it. I feel that I'm responsible for my child and I just don't want to leave her. We have a mother's room where I slip out to nurse or change her if needed. I'm getting more proficient at nursing her in church, though.

My thoughts are that not wanting to go to church due to not leaving your kids in the nursery isn't a valid reason. Because there are lots of mommies who don't leave their babies in the nursery and we make it just fine.

yes, we have left our children in the nurseries of our churches. Most of the chruches we have gone to are rather large and have awesome nurseries and security precautions. I have also worked in most of the nurseries also, so i am comfortable with my children being with the other workers.
The preschool kids and elem kids, Jr hi and HS kids all have their own kid friendly worship and bible studies. I really like that they have something that is geared toward their ages and isnt boring to them like adult services can be.
I can remember going to a church when i was 8 and was bored out of my mind. i fell asleep and didnt pay attention to anything. I like that my kids dont have to suffer thru that. they learn about god in an interesteing interactive way that kids love.

We have Sunday School classes starting at 2 years. So for the first part of service all the children are in the sanctuary and then after the children's message we all take our kids to their classes and then return for the rest of the service. My DS stays with us during the service, though he does go to the nursery when it is my week to teach Sunday School. He is just across the hall though!

DH & I are in charge of our 0-2 room. All those involved in any part of ministry has had a background check & must be a member of the church. Which also means that you have to give your testimony. We have somewhat of a large & quite contemporary church with an approximate attendance of about 350. I was a little reluctant with DS, we didn't leave him in nursery until he was 1. I don't think the children are learning what they could in a classroom structured for them. We have a very structured format for all ages up to 8th grade and then they are in the service. We have a strict security system, your children are given a numbered tag that they wear until you bring the matching number with you to pick them up.

I didn't leave DD in nursery without being their myself. That is actually why DH & I serve in the 0-2 room. We made a 1 year committment to serve & have been blessed for our decision. I think sometimes Satan can use a crying child to deter a person from getting the full message. I know at times I would pray for God to allow me to focus on what He was trying to get me to see.

I think it is great to also teach your older children restraint & I think it is great to have them in on the service... JMO...

Dainyah has yet to stay in the nursery. But then, it is rare when we have people in there anyway.

Our church is rather small. Currently, it is just Dainyah and another little girl. The other girl is at high risk for RSV and other illnessess so her dr. put her under orders to not go to nursery (she is the neice of the woman taking care of her and is under medical foster right now). The rest of the kids are toddlers and older. The way our building is laid out, I wouldn't put Dainyah in there if it was staffed and had kids regularly. It is on an outside wall, the heat isn't too great in there so it is cold right now and there is an outside door that is very easy to get to. Not that it is ever unlocked, but still. We are in the process of planning to convert a space by the sanctuary into a cry room.

Dainyah is still pretty quiet during church. I'll feed her if she gets fussy and if I can't get her settled quickly, I do take her out so as not to disrupt others.

My husband and I are of the mindset though that families should worship together. How else will our children learn to behave during church unless they are a part of it and are taught from an early age? I have been in too many churches where the kids are off to do their own thing from baby all the way to high school and the older kids could not sit or be quiet during the service and pay attention. They were used to things getting dumbed down (at least in those churches) that when it came to the time when they should have been ready for more solid doctrinal teaching, the real meat of Christianity, they couldn't stomach it. They were used to being spoon fed the Bible. I grew up in a teeny tiny church and we never had children's church or nursery or anything like that. We kids were expected to sit in the service and behave. We did it too. We did have a seperate Sunday school, and I was always bored out of my mind there.

I've been at my church since I was saved, I know everyone and don't feel like they are strangers. So, yah em goes. Our church isn't huge but, it's bigger and there are children's programs right through early shcool ages. We have a somewhat stuffy back row and children's noise aren't so much of a blessing to some so, we just do what is the custome in our church and it gives em a break from mama=)

BUT, I'm very leary about leaving em in nurserys of other churches. I've done it and PTL, he's allowed for me each time to feel comfortable once there but, it's an unnerving experience till I get there.

I work in my church preschool and I know that they do background checks and training for not only staff, but volunteers, so I do leave Grant in the preschool, and when he was younger the nursery. It was really hard at first, he screamed so much, but now, he does okay. Since I am at home with him it was hard getting used to other people taking care of him, but I know he's in good hands so I don't worry.

For a long time I didn't feel comfortable leaving dd in the nursery at Church. The workers rotated and then one person was hired as full-time nursery worker but dd didn't care for her. The current nursery worker is a very good friend of mine and also dd's daycare provider so we know her quite well. I feel that as infants it is ok to have them with us during service, but from our expierience as dd approached toddlerhood it was difficult for her to stay in the pew and to keep her voice down, also was hard for us to pay attention to the message.
Our nursery ages are newborn to potty trained and once the child is potty trained they are welcomed in jr church which is a service geared for the children during regular service. Our church is very accomidating to children and has a wonderful childrens ministry.

We have a nursery at our church. I am on the rotation to keep it. They don't do back ground checks on any one though. My dh is such a paranoid kook that he won't let Ash be back there with anyone that isn't on his 'approved list'. So for now, the only approved people are me, the minister's wife and our babysitter who goes to church there.

Many times, Ash doesn't want me to leave him, so I stay with him.

We only have nursery during the readings and sermon and like one song and the kids come back in during the offering.

I think the nursery is for 2' & 3's and then a room for 4's & 5's. I think if they are over a year they go in with the 2's, but we really don't have it for anyone less than 1. They do have a quiet room right behind the sanctuary and it has chairs in there and a big window so you can watch the service as well as a speaker so you can hear everything. Moms with tiny babies tend to go in there.

All things weighed up, I can only say, if you want to leave the kids pray about it - because fears aside (and lets face it I have misgivings about leaving my kids too) I also DO feel that of course a CHILD is a parents responsiblity... however I also think it's important for the mother to be fed by the word and if the child is disrupting this from happening, I don't personally think that is ALWAYS a good thing. Of course, there is the option of requesting a copy of the sermon on CD which I am so grateful MOST churches do this now, as it took a while for my twins to settle into "sunday school" and I was sometimes out trying to settle them down and I did end up feeling "hungry" because I had missed the preaching (and I am NOT saying it's someone elses responsiblity to feed me, of course it's mine, but sermons can be helpful KWIM?).

I also really admire churches who pipe the sermon into the nursery (and a lot of them do that now PTL) -

It is great to see many churches are accomodating to family.

I do think the idea of family worship is great, but to some degree I also feel that kids need something age appropriate at church.
I was ended up in a church with no SUnday School or anything and as a child most of what the pastor said went completely over my head (well I guess it was up to my parents to explain what he was saying after church...) and as a result I was completely bored and confused through the whole service. In the end my friend and I used to try and hide from the pastor in the playground to escape from going to church and being bored ... well, I grew to enjoy the messages when I was old enough to "get it" tho!

I guess the advantage to being a member of a small church is the closeness. I know everyone that works in the nursery and I trust them. Basically I feel as though I am leaving her with family...since some in our church have treated us better than our own family...they are our church family. We are old fashioned in our church and there are certain guidelines that those that volunteer for nursery must hold. One of our biggest rules...is no men allowed in the nursery at any time..unless they are picking up their child of course. I did not start leaving DD in there until she was about five or six months. We usually only have nursery on sunday mornings....no other time. I more so let her go in there to play with the other children...since that is the only interaction with children she gets. Sunday nights or Wednesday nights she is with us. If she becomes a little too testy and make alot of noise...her and I will go to the nursery...where I can listen to the sermon. Our pastor emphazizes that he does not mind children who make a bit of noise...naturally children will do that at a certain age....because we do encourage family worship. But, DD can get a bit loud and I know that has to distract some...it's my dec. to take her into the nursery. All and all...if you know who is waching your child and it is a safe nursery...I am all for it. I have never had a problem with dd in the nursery and to be honest they have looked over her more than my own parents who have watched her maybe...six or eight hours her entire life!

When my kids were that young I did leave them in the nursery but, not untill they wouldn't be quiet in church. But, I did go to a fairly small church and I knew everyone there. So, it was almost like leaving them with family! If I had a big church where I didn't know them I probally wouldn't have left them.

i go to services on saturday and sunday. on saturday i do leave them in the nursery, but on sunday, i stay in the nursery with them and help out because they tend to come looking for me in that church. generally, if they seem uncomfortable staying there or tell me outright that they are, i won't leave them in there.

My kids are too old for the nursery now, but yes..I would put them in the nursery...IF they became too disruptive in the service and I felt comfortable with who was in there at the time. Our church is rather large, so if the nursery seemed crowded at the time, I would opt to watch my dd or ds, myself in the foyer.
I enjoy having my children/babies with me and would sit in the back to make sure I was in the lease disruptive spot. However there were many times I could tell others were watching us and so I would take the kids out. I think if you child is being disruptive, you should take them out. Whether you leave them in the nursery or watch them yourself..it is best to let others get the most out of the service and not rob them of being fed. IMO

Yes, we leave Samara in the nursery! At our previous church she liked to sit in on the P&W and then be taken to the nursery but now she likes going to the nursery and staying the entire time at our current church!! We tried to keep her in service a couple of Sunday's ago, just for P&W, but she asked to go to the nursery!! :lol:

Our son stays with us in church and always has. When he was younger sometimes I would have to take him out and we'd sit at the back. I have never wanted to leave him in the nursery for a couple of reasons.

I've left Zach in the church nursery since he was about 10 weeks old. We go to a very big church and we are very active in our church so we know most of the people who serve in nursery. However, even if I didn't know them personally I would still leave him there. First b/c I want to hear the service and I don't want to disturb anyone elses experience. Secondly, everyone has their own ministry area in a church.....the nursery workers are placed there IMO by God to allow everyone the ability to attend service. I don't consider them strangers. Especially after a couple of times of leaving your child you would probably know them and talk with them.

I kept my son in the worship service with me until he was about 6 months and just wouldn't sit still or sleep long enough. He went on to the nursery at that point, but when I felt he was old enough to truly understand what I meant by being quiet and sitting still, he came back in the service with me. He colors or sleeps most of the time, but is always quiet. He does love the music though.

We kept our son in the service with us until he was around 1 year old. This was only possible because he was a really placid little boy who could sleep anywhere. He would happily sit on my lap and listen to the service or have a nap. However, since he has been walking it would be far too distracting to have him in the service - it would just be too tiring to try to keep him still and quiet for that long (and not really fair for him either at this age). It is currently summer holidays over here and the nursery is on holiday until school starts again. We are now realising how much we appreciate being able to leave him in the nursery. While there is no nursery my husband and I have to take turns going to church :( . Our church is not really large - so, we are friends with most of the people who look after the kids. So, it is not really like leaving them with complete strangers in our case. And it is great that he is getting to know some of the other kids of his age in the church.

Also, as he gets older there is a really good children's program in our church - with some great teaching happening at their level. I am looking forward to him moving into the Sunday School and learning more about God and the bible (we have a 3-5 year olds group and a 5-9 year olds group).

I run my church's nursery and I think it is a great ministry for parents. I know how hard it is to concentrate when you have a baby. Our church does a criminal background check on anyone working in any of the childrens classes to be sure of saftey.

I think that nurseries are a great thing and can be a big blessing for everyone involved -- the workers, the parents and the children. But I have to give a big warning to all of you -- please don't think for an instant that just because the person is working in the church that that makes them an okay person to be with children. Sex offenders are very good at making people believe that they are good Christians and that they are walking just fine with the Lord and yet they are grooming (setting up for offending) the children that they are in charge of.

Background checks are only good if the person has been convicted of a crime. There are so many sex offenders out there that have never been caught or convicted of the crime. If the background check is done in California and the crime was committed in Arkansas, it is a possibility that it won't show up. Sex offenders do not walk around looking like the scum of the earth. Think of all of the priests, teachers, coaches, etc. that have been caught lately. They all had background checks done on them. They all had extensive interviews and yet they were hired to be around children.

I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to open your eyes to not assume that because the pastor, board of elders, etc. approved of the person, to trust that person with your child. Pray about it, watch them. Never leave your child in a room where there is only one worker. There should always be two workers with the children at all times. Ask questions. Where do they change diapers at? Is it in the room where everyone can see or in a room by themselves? Request that they call you to change your own child. If they baulk at this, question it. When they take children to the restroom, do they do it in a group or one-on-one? If one-on-one, does the person go in with them or stay outside the closed door? Ask these questions of anyone that is caring for your child. If they take offense then they have something to hide because if the person is truly there for the sake of your child then they won't mind being asked questions, and will even expect it. Even after dropping your child off, stop by or walk past (if they have windows) unexpectedly to see what is going on.

I HAVE NO CHOICE....my husband is the minister of music and according to him, I am desperately needed each and every Sunday in the choir, so unless I plan to bring a baby into the choir loft for the entire church service, I have to utilize the nursery. I would love to have my son with me through all of the services, but it isn't possible. I can see both sides, but I feel that if you are willing to leave your child in a daycare, then the church nursery is not any worse. I personally will leave him in the nursery at church, but refuse to let him go to daycare....EVER.

I wish I could leave Timmy in the nursary, but I can't. The longest he's ever lasted without them putting up my number for me to come get him is five minutes. I ended up staying with him in the nursary many times. Now I've been taking him to Awanas, and after he gets really comfortable there I'm hoping he'll be fine without me. Then he might be more comfortable in a nursary setting. Unfortunately we've tried to get him to stay in service and that doesn't work well either, he just has way to much energy. So we've had to watch the sevices on tv instead, but I know eventually we'll be able to be in church again and i'm praying and looking forward to that.