My son is throwing his food, usually when he is done, and LOVES to spill his drink on the floor and then play in it. I have spanked him, I have talked to him about it, and I make him clean up his mess. I don't know what else to do because none of that is working and I am tired of cleaning up his mess all the time. any suggestions

Just keep up what you're doing. As soon as he throws something, you say 'Ok, obviously you are finished eating now. Let's get you down and you help clean up the mess. Next time just tell mommy 'I'm done'. We don't throw food!'

And give him smaller portions. Give only what you are sure he will eat, giving him less to play with later. ;)

As for the drink...I wouldn't allow a drink with food.

Basically, I would promptly remove anything he tries to take a mess with and seriously restrict those items in the future. Along with stern warnings, corrected behavior and he helps clean.

Remember, you're the mom...don't be afraid to 'be the mom'. And consistency goes a long ways. You've heard this time and time again. It's true. The more consistent you are, the quicker these behaviors subside. This is just another area where he's trying to test his boundaries. You DEFINE those boundaries and stick to them. You'll be fine. You'll both get through this.

:)

We have the exact same problem with Payton, drives me crazy. We have tried the same things, I agree with Tara, it's just draining after every single meal to have this problem and have to discipline each time though. Hopefully he gets it soon and quits, Payton has started getting a bit better.

ETA: I just thought of this. Is his drink in a regular cup or sippy cup? If it is a regular cup maybe consider going back to a sippy until he can be a "big boy" and not spill it? Just throwing this out there. I totally have sympathy for your regarding this as it is so frustrating.

At our house throwing food is a no-no, too. For meals the kids get a no-spill or regular sippy cup until they are about 2 1/2 to 3 depending on their coordination. For food, when they were that age I would give them only a few bites at a time. If they threw it they got one warning, if they did it again they got a smack on the hand and the food was removed. Same with throwing a cup on the floor. I would give them food back after a little while if they were still hungry. Otherwise down they went and the meal was over. If you're consistent, he'll learn pretty quickly that he can't get away with it. As far as just spilling not naughty throwing, get a big plastic bib that has the pocket on the front that catches the spills. They work great and you can put them in the dishwasher.

I will try not putting so much on his tray, i tend to load him up. as for the cup, it doesn'tmatter if it is sippy or not. the regular cup is a bit better actually. sippy's he shakes them so the water comes out and the says "mess mess mess" and cleans/plays with it with his hand. I usually don't give drinks at meal time, since he won't eat his food. anyways, thanks for the tips!

Allee did this for a while too... and I was rough about it!

Our rules: (1) Playing is not eating. If you are not eating, there is not going to be food in front of you. (2) If food flies, no snack.

Allee caught onto these rules at 2 years old. My mom was an in-home daycare provider, and the same rules applied at her home. She had kids as young as 18 following the 2 above rules without a problem. Heck, by 2, they were bussing their own plates at the garbage and sink!

With both rules, you are teaching kids that there are rules and boundaries, and that some things (flying food and finger painting with creamed corn) aren't permissable. If they are too young to follow the rules and boundaries by themself, its a parent's job to help them follow!

A few random points.... make sure he's getting enough "tactile time" away from food-- playdough, rice, gravel, sand, fabric-- so that he's not looking to the Sloppy Joes for the tactile stimulation. Food flew significantly less when Allee and her cousin had lots of tactile input throughout the day. .... two bites of food, and then no snack, doesn't mean baby is going to whither away, I *promise*! If they are hungry at a meal, they will eat. If they are playing with the mac-n-cheese, they aren't hungry enough to be eating. Allee knows that if she plays, she doesn't get to whine later about being hungry. I provided a nutiritious meal, she refused it. I'm not a chef, and I am certainly not her personal chef at her beck-and-call. Meal times and snack times are food time, they are the same every day. She'll eat better at the next meal if she only took a bit of french toast and then decided it was better for constructing a house and had it taken away.

During times when she makes bad choices about playing instead of eating, and then gets hungry long before the next meal, I usually commisserate with her a little, then try some distraction. "Yeah, when I don't eat my lunch, I get hungry way before dinner too. Then I really wish I had eaten my lunch at lunch time. Its a bummer when we make a choice to play instead of eat at lunch time, huh? Would you like to play a puzzle to try to make dinner come sooner?"

Remember, they go bedtime to breakfast without a meal, so skipping one in the middle of the day isn't going to kill them, either... and heck, its toddlerhood, and if you have a kid who eats 3 bites, you are blessed! :)