Hi-Haven't been on in awhile. Does anyone have any helpful hints for leaving a 14 mo in the nursery at church? I tried it today and they brought her back to me in 5 min or less and said she wouldn't stop crying (this is not the 1st time I've tried). I'm at home with her and she is ok staying with grandmoms, but will not have it at church. What age do they usually get a little better about this?

Thanks,
Hollie

It really varies from kid to kid. I volunteer in our church's nursery, and I've seen kids who had an absolute fit for months because they were separated from their mommies. Actually (and I think this is a little weird) a little boy who was just adopted two weeks ago spend the entire morning in tears because his mommy wasn't there. Freaked me out a little, because she's only been his mommy for a couple of weeks! I didn't know there'd be separation anxiety issues, there. (Plus, he's almost 2.)

I recall that, a few months ago, there was a little boy with very major separation anxiety. After a few weeks of having to pull his mom out of service, they started having one of their older kids (a preteen) stay with him in the nursery. This morning, I was doing the nursery, and he was great. He got a little teary before the end of service, but that's a huge improvement over how it's been! I really think that kids just need to get used to people, to know that it's safe to be with the nursery workers, and to get to recognize them.

I've passed my daughters around like a cheap pack of cigarettes from birth onward to try to avoid the separation anxiety. With Audrey, that worked. But not with Tory. :( She doesn't care if she's with someone other than mommy... as long as she can still see me. The moment I walk out of the room, she starts crying. (She's the same way at home, too.)

For some of the children in the nursery who have the separation anxiety thing, it works to get them interested in something and then just slip out the door while they're looking at or playing with something. I'd be concerned about Tory, but she's barely 7 months, so I'm very hopeful that she'll get used to being separated from me.

I ask the teacher to meet me about 30 minutes early for a couple of weeks and it allows me to get to know the room and teacher and for my little guy to get familiar with the room and his teacher and find them "safe" while I'm right there without all the other kids running around and the other distractions.....seems to really help if he's having difficulty....and he didn't like the nursery at all when we started...

As suggested above...see about meeting the teacher early for a few weeks. Or plan on staying in there with her for a few weeks. You can adjust the time you spend as you see fit. You may spend 2 weeks the full time, then the next week half the time, etc. It'll take some experimentation.

Or you could just keep her with you and train her how to behave in 'big church' :)

I work in our 0-2 room at church. We have a similar situation right now with a 16 month old & what we are doing is her mom will stay in the room for a while & at snack time she will sneak out. If she is unhappy for more than 8 minutes we have her number posted on the powerpoint. Then the next week we do 5 minutes and so on. We don't want her to feel overwhelmed. Spend a little time in the room with both the workers & yourself. Let her interact with the other children with you there. Then try to see how long she goes without getting to upset.

Hang in there... just be patient and know that she will come around. [hug]