If this bedtime behavior doesn't stop I'm going to lose my mind. I have read hundreds of bedtime behavior curbing ideas and none of them are working. My kids are playing the bedtime game. They are getting out of bed and playing with each other. They don't come out of their room but they will sometimes open the door look out and laugh and then as soon as I get up to go put them back in bed they laugh again and dive for the bed. I have tried taking away their loveys, bedtime story, and spanking as well as keeping on returning them to their beds although that's hard since they beat me to it.

And it's not just bedtime. They will eventually fall asleep only to wake in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with us. I don't think I have had a decent nights sleep in months. I have tried returning them to their beds but they end up back in bed with us.

I know they are playing me and I am trying to stand up and not show emotion and be the adult but their antics are dissolving me to tears. I feel like I am a failure at being a mom to them and I know that inconsistency is why we're here now but now that I have created this monster I can't figure out how to kill it. Any ideas please!?[flagsurrender]

Can they undo a baby gate? Maybe put a baby gate and shut the door. They won't be able to come out in the middle of the night, and eventually they'll get the point that they can't sleep with you. As far as playing before bedtime.
The only suggestion I have is spanking, but I know not everyone spanks.
do they share a room?

Yes on the baby gate. We have one at the bottom of our staircase and they just open it and come up. I did put a baby knob on our door but I hate shutting the door because of emergencies and of course can't put a knob on theirs to lock them in their room because of A needing to be able to get out at night to go potty. We do spank but it's almost like she thinks it's funny to get one while she is supposed to be going to sleep.Grrr.

I'm kind of wondering if maybe putting them to bed at different times would help. AKA one goes to bed at 8:30 and the other at 8:45. That would guarantee they couldn't feed off each other. That is if the first child falls asleep quickly. I would cut out their nap time but I feel they both still need it and they act grouchy if they don't.

I'm so sorry Sarah. We struggle with this too (not the sleeping with us as DH would NEVER allow that but...that's cause he is territorial with the bed (sometimes I have a hard time getting in it;) ).

Anyway...usually the antics wake Goober 3 who has been in bed for an hour by the time they make it up there. Spanking has not worked for us in this case (or baby gates) either. What HAS seemed to work is the possible loss of an outing (I even use ones that are a month away! lol). "You won't go to xxxx if you can't stay in your bed." or "If you wake up your brother there will be no treats after dinner tomorrow".

I wish I could help more. I know how frustrating it is. And yeah...sometimes I cry too (especially after a long and trying day with them). Doesn't make us bad Moms. Makes us raising children who want more control and independence. That is a good thing. That is a good thing. That is a good thing? [whatscratchinghead][thumbsup][hug]

Prayers you find something that works for everyone.

Different bedtimes might help, worth a try. Another thing I was thinking, you said at the earlier times they play around and come out and you put them back in bed, repeatedly. That they smile when they see you coming. Sit outside their door. Bring a book and just camp out for a bit. That way you are there to curb this behavior IMMEDIATELY. As soon as a peep is made, go in and deal with it. The doorknob turns, you are there to greet appropriately. Not giving them that extra minute it takes to get out or downstairs, kwim? Nipping it just that bit earlier can help curb it faster. Oh yeah, it's going to be taxing, sure, I won't deny that, but no more so than you feel already.

As for the middle of the night. Just keep taking them back to their beds. "No, you stay in your bed. I stay in mine. You sleep better in your bed. Then we both wake up well rested and happy and can have a WONDERFUL day. :) "

Would they like a nightlight in their room? Would you be opposed to having a spot on your floor for them in your room, that you just want them out of your bed?

Can Aiden read a clock yet? Even able to identify one number. Saying "you do not get out of your bed and come into my room until it is X o'clock...when the clock hand points to X number, you can come out" Show her that time, make a poster of it for comparison, buy a digital clock for their room if you need.

Most of all, just keep being firm and consistent. You know consistency will yield the results you desire. Just keep hanging in there momma. *hugs*

My ds does exactly the same thing...we started giving him rest time instead of nap time. He still is in his room for 2ish hours, but he reads books or listens to music or plays with duplos, etc. That way I still get mommy time and he goes to bed well at night. Then you can do an earlier bed time - like 8:15!

Thanks for the ideas gals. I will have to try them. We did put a knob cover on our bedroom door and told them that means our room is off limits, they have their room-we have ours. We shut the door the last two nights and stood firm that we were not letting them come in in the middle of the night. It's been glorious. I'm not fretting anymore because we do have a baby monitor and I remembered that the are all electrically connected so if one goes off somewhere the one in our room will too. So my issue with emergencies happening is resolved.:-D

Glad to hear things are going better :)

Sit outside their door. Bring a book and just camp out for a bit. That way you are there to curb this behavior IMMEDIATELY.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest.