*sigh* so here we are again...

[myjoyoverflows]

I'm having a bit of a hard time believing that this is going on....but indeed it is. I went to the doctor's today....they took a urine sample, (like they do every time) and it came back positive to us being pregnant. I've only had ONE period since Maddy was born....how on earth did this happen!? :shock: It's just crazy to me and it's taking a while to set in. I have a 5 month old and am just over 6 weeks pregnant...CRAZY...at least all the "things to know" about being pregnant is still fresh in my mind. :lol: This wasn't a planned thing...not for us anyway...but it was God's...and our plans don't always match with His. This isn't an accident or a mistake, God doesn't make those...He's in the creating business and He's just helping us along. So here we go....onto a new journey.......again! :)

[love2bmom]

A true blessing, but I will remember you in my prayers... HUGS!!

[harmony5]

You are right that this is God's plan. Many times, His plan isn't what we planned but it will work out according to his will. All I gotta say is if I end up with child within 2 years of having this one, I may have to be admitted somewhere. [whatwacko] Just joking! I'm swearing off any future pregnancies actually, but again, that's my plan, not God's! He'll never give us more than we can handle. Amen?! So, congrats and can't wait to follow your new journey. Here's praying for a healthy pregnancy and speedy delivery!

Lori :D

[jengrant]

Congratulations!!!!! I know it is kind of early, but this way your kids will be real close in age and may make them great buddies! I know it will be tough having two in diapers at the same time, though. A ladie at my church just had twins while her son was only 14 months old. Talk about a handful!!! But, God knows what we can handle.

[love2bmom]

My sis .. (mom of twins boy with many health problems) once said..."God doesn't give us what we can handle, he gives us more, so remember who our strength comes from." God's grace is sufficient and he will reveal his plans for you & your growing family.

[AmyB]

Congratulations! :D

[ChamomileFriend]

Congratulations! I know all too well that feeling of :shock: when you find out you are pg, but it is all worth it and you will love this baby just as much as the first one [hug]

[Crissyanna]

Aren't we glad God knows what he is doing? I know that if I had my way on numerous occasions, I definately would not be where I am today. God knows this baby. He knows it all. Rest in that fact. I am a firm believer that God doesn't give us a blessing and then not provide for it. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, he can spare a little milk :wink: .

Crystal

[BlessedMommy]

Congratulations! God has promised that He will never give us more than we can handle. I know that with the age of my little one, if I found out that I would have two kids before my 2 year anniversary, I would probably feel similar. But God will help you to take things in stride and be a great mommy. :)

[myjoyoverflows]

*sigh* I probably shouldn't have even made this post. :cry:

With our first pregnancy everything with the baby went GREAT...so why this? Why did we have a miscarriage? I know that God's in control of everything, and that this was in His plan, but for what reason? Do you suppose a 6 week old fetus has a spirit? Do you think that it went to heaven?? I don't want comforting words on that question, I'd like the truth....

[ChelleFish]

Chels...I am sorry for your loss, and I am sorry, you are in the wrong place not to get comforting words :wink: I don't mean to sound blunt, but we love you as a sister in Jesus and by our nature we will give comforting words. As far the truth, no one but God Himself who knitted your child in your womb knows the real truth about babies who are miscarried. Here are some word from a website I found (soory I forgot a link) that may or may not help you. Know we love you and are praying for your and your family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think there are at least seven things to say to someone in this kind of pain.

1. God sees our heartache and takes seriously our loss.

Our heavenly Father is not unmoved by our agony. He is not callused or distant. For good reason the Bible calls Him “the God of all comfort” (1 Corinthians 1:3).

It was Jesus who wept loudly when His friend Lazarus died—so loudly that witnesses said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:36). When He saw a great calamity descending on Jerusalem, it was also Jesus who cried out, “How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her children under her wings!” (Matthew 23:37). Centuries before this, it was God the Father who proclaimed through the prophet Isaiah, “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem” (Isaiah 40:1).

Know that God longs to comfort your broken heart. He is very near to you right now, and He wants to restore your wounded soul.

2. Every life is a complete life, even though it may not look that way to us.

The Bible says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). That means God knows exactly how long each of us will live. Some miscarry; some live more than a century. But every life is a complete life. We may not understand this completely, and accepting it will never take all the sting out of our loss, but embracing this as truth can help to soften the blow. Whether a life spans decades or blooms and fades in minutes, it is a complete life. God makes no mistakes.

3. God loves little children and will welcome them all into heaven.

I believe that children who have died are in heaven with Jesus right now. Jesus loved little children and even used them as examples of how we adults might come into a right relationship with God. “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14), Jesus declared to His astonished disciples.

Hints of this special concern for infants and young children are given even in the Old Testament. For example, when King David lost his baby boy to an illness, he said to the members of his court, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23). I don’t think he was merely saying he would one day die, as his son had. I believe he was proclaiming his firm belief that he would see his son in heaven.

I believe that the work of Jesus Christ covers such children and that they all will greet us in heaven.

“I believe the Bible teaches that your little child is in heaven in the presence of the Lord, and that you will them one day if you have Jesus Christ in your life as your Savior and Master. I believe that they are saved through the work of Jesus Christ, that they are redeemed and rescued by the grace and goodness of God. They are enjoying life, and rejoicing in the presence of God. Your little one is in the arms of the Lord—thoroughly conscious, perfect, and forever in the presence of Jesus Christ.”

4. God has purposes that we cannot understand.

We can never understand all the ways of God. We who have a difficult time programming our VCRs and figuring out how to put together certain children’s toys should not be surprised that the One who created the universe and keeps it running also thinks and acts in ways we can’t begin to fathom.

“My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,” the Lord reminds us. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). We are not always kept in the dark, yet some things are beyond our understanding: “The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever” (Deuteronomy 29:29).

“God has a purpose for each one of us, even for yuor little one's few precious weeks in the womb. Of course, we don’t always understand the ways of God; He has mysteries we can’t comprehend. Why would He take an unborn life? I don’t know—but God makes no mistakes. Sometimes we foolishly think He does, but He doesn’t. He had a plan for your little one, and it was somehow fulfilled.”

I admit it’s terribly hard to understand why God would take a little one whom we love so much and for whom we held such big dreams. Right now, at this moment, none of us can fully understand why. But I’m convinced that in heaven we will understand. When the apostle Paul writes, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12-13), I think he was telling us that all these earthly mysteries that so puzzle and hurt us will one day be solved. The darkness surrounding our tragedies will be dispelled by blazing, divine light. And then we will see and appreciate the stunning grandeur and majesty of God’s total plan. But that day is not yet.

5. God may be protecting them from something far worse later in life.

I know not everyone believes this, but I do. God sees the end from the beginning and it may be that He takes home certain loved ones now because He knows that later on a tragedy of much grimmer proportions would overtake them. No doubt someone will say to me, “But if God is almighty, couldn’t He prevent either tragedy from happening in the first place?” Yes, He could, but that’s not the way this world works. Which brings us to the next point.

6. We are part of a fallen human race.

This world is not as it should be. God created it perfect in the beginning, but something happened to shatter its original harmony and beauty and peace. The Bible says that when our first forebears, Adam and Eve, chose to disobey God and rebel against His rule, a curse settled on the human race and on the world and universe we inhabit. Their sin brought to the human race all the ugliness and corruption and hatred and depravity and brutality and illness and death that we see everywhere around us today.

This means that death is an unwanted part of this current world order. As the great Oxford writer C.S. Lewis once said, “Wars don’t cause death. Wars simply hurry the process for some people.” All of us will die; it’s just a question of when.

The sad fact is that until God remakes this world and lifts the curse (and He will do so one glorious day!), horrible things will continue to happen on this planet “that just isn’t right.” In this world gone awry, the good do not always receive their just due, nor do the evil. Jesus said that God “causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45) and sometimes that sun causes firestorms that incinerate both the evil and the good, and those rains create floods that drown both the righteous and the unrighteous.

7. The people closest to God have never been immune to painful circumstances.

It certainly does not seem fair to most of us that innocent children in the bloom of life can die from awful diseases or accidents, while many evil adults live for eight or nine decades in the lap of luxury. It just doesn’t seem right.

But I can never forget that the most unfair death of all was that of Jesus Christ. Although God repeatedly called Jesus His “beloved Son” (Mathew 3:17; 12:18; 17:5), His life was taken that we might gain eternal life. The apostle Peter put it like this: “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God” (1 Peter 3:18).

Paul the apostle said the same thing in these words: “God made him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for us, so that in him [Jesus] we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Jesus’s death was not “fair” in any usual sense of the term, yet He freely gave His life for us so that we might become sons and daughters of God. It is His most “unfair” death that gives us the firm hope that we will one day see again all our precious loved ones who left this earth at such a tender age. “Let the little children come to me,” Jesus said, and then He died on a cross to make it possible.

[luvmy4sons]

*sigh* I probably shouldn't have even made this post. :cry:

With our first pregnancy everything with the baby went GREAT...so why this? Why did we have a miscarriage? I know that God's in control of everything, and that this was in His plan, but for what reason? Do you suppose a 6 week old fetus has a spirit? Do you think that it went to heaven?? I don't want comforting words on that question, I'd like the truth....

God does not give us what we deserve. Or no one could ever stand! Not that you words on this post were wrong to begin with. Your words here on this post did not cause your miscarriage. No one on this board would tell you your 6 week old fetus had a spirit just to comfort you if they did not find it to be true in scripture.

Psalm 139: 14-16 says:

"I will give thanks to you for I am fearfuly and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfullly wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them. "

Please take comfort that this was not a surprise to God. He has not been kicked off His throne. And He loves you, and He has plans for you, to prosper you and give you a hope and a future. Jesus told his disciples that He was glad He was not there to save Lazarus! GLAD! Mary and Martha grieved and were in a lot of emotional pain watching and waiting for Jesus while their brother died. Yet, Jesus was glad He had not been there. It was for His glory. And for their greater joy. That story always reminds me that God's purposes are greater than my experiences. I am so sorry that you lost your baby. It is a horrible loss. But your baby is with Jesus and your words did not cause this, of that you can be sure. God loves you and so do all the brethren!

[myjoyoverflows]

Thank you both for your words. I find a lot of comfort in them. Bill and I are both having a hard time with this...but more so he than I...I guess it's because I feel like I shouldn't be upset. We hadn't even seen the baby yet. Bill said to me a little while ago, "It has hands and feet, a brain and a heartbeat, and yet, it can just bleed out of you. I don't understand that." I keep on trying to get him to understand that everything happends for a reason, but it's hard for him to grasp...he's only been a Christian for just under a year. Thank you for giving me the verses in Psalm 139...I needed to be reminded of that...those are some powerful verses. Thank you again.

[kanaclark]

Chels,
hon, we've been there. found out the 13th, miscarried the 14th. it was really hard to deal with. it will be 3 years in January, and it's still hard, esp. this time of year, with all the focus on kids. Knowing that we have a precious one enjoying the holidays in the most wonderful place. One thing, we've done to make it easier, is change our mindthink from miscariage to heavenly-birth. to know that our baby was born straight into the hands of God is the most comforting thing a mom could know.

if you can get your hands on it, "I will Hold You in Heaven" may help. It was written for those dealing with post-abortion stress, but it has helped many going through miscariages.

if you want to talk to someone who's btdt, pm me. I'm here

~Kana

[myjoyoverflows]

Chels,
hon, we've been there. found out the 13th, miscarried the 14th. it was really hard to deal with. it will be 3 years in January, and it's still hard, esp. this time of year, with all the focus on kids. Knowing that we have a precious one enjoying the holidays in the most wonderful place. One thing, we've done to make it easier, is change our mindthink from miscariage to heavenly-birth. to know that our baby was born straight into the hands of God is the most comforting thing a mom could know.

if you can get your hands on it, "I will Hold You in Heaven" may help. It was written for those dealing with post-abortion stress, but it has helped many going through miscariages.

if you want to talk to someone who's btdt, pm me. I'm here

~Kana

Thanks for sharing that with me Kana. I guess I'm just having a hard time thinking that it's okay to be upset...it's okay to be sad and disappointed. I'm holding it all in....I'm not letting myself feel the real pain of this because I keep saying to myself, "we didn't even see it." "we wouldn't have even known it was there." and I just..I don't know. I'm tearing up inside, but I just don't want to let it out. *sigh* thank you for what you said. It means a lot to me.

[~Tara~]

First of all ***big hugs***






I can't even imagine all that you are feeling/experiencing right now. I just pray you can feel the comfort I offer you.


As for the baby, you wanted to know if the baby now is in heaven. My belief is yes. I believe that if God takes one before they are of an age to know wrong from right, before they are of an age to accept Christ as their Savior, I believe those are His chosen children and will reside in Heaven with Him. I don't have any verses at my side to back that up, just so you know. (and I'm only popping in here briefly)

And it's ok to allow yourself to feel that pain. Whether you saw the baby or had a chance to bond or not...the fact is, there was a baby growing within you and you were prepared to love and nurture it. Now that is gone..you *can* be upset. Let it out. :)


I hope my words were taken with the intent with which they were sent. I don't really know what to say other than I am so sorry. But yes, rest in Him, trust in His divine plan. Seek His comfort.

[buttercup_97140]

No matter how long we know our children, we still love them. I have had two miscarriages, both were before I was saved, but I know now that it was all in God's plan. I can look back now and see that if I had given birth to those children I may have never come to the Lord, or really appreicated what a gift children are. It also took me about two or three days after the knowledge of our miscarriages to actually start feeling the loss. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling yet, we all have coping skills that let us feel at different times. My Dad killed himself about three weeks ago, and I still really haven't felt like I have mourned him yet, sometimes it just takes time.
Also remember, that our bodies need time to recover from birth, and some babies are given at a time when we can't sustain them, so they go to heaven. It doesn't mean you didn't do what you should have, the Lord knew every moment of this child's life, but he may have been protecting you also from future probs. He is so good, he knows what we need. So many women gave you good verses. Keep those close to you and let the Lord's words comfort you all through the day.

I pray you and your Dh are comforted in the Grace our Lord so generously gives out!

Amber

[Godzgirl]

I'm so sorry. :cry: Will be praying for you and your family during this time.

[jengrant]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I too, have been there. I will be praying for you and your family.

[jen1981]

Chelsie, I'm really sorry. :cry: I miscarried about 2 years ago at 9 wks. We had just told everyone and then lost the baby. Some people seemed to think that I shouldn't be sad because I had never met my baby, however it was a child and I know it is in heaven waiting for me. It will take some time to process everything. Just give yourself permission to grieve if you need to and don't feel guily. There is nothing you could have done differently to prevent it. Love you and lots of hugs and prayers, Jennifer [hug]