When do you consider a child to be a preteen?

[gen]

Is it an age thing for you, or when a girl starts getting all hormonal at, oooh lets say the age of 10? Im finding my dd, 10, is a very different child recently. She is so flippant and like 'whatever', she never says 'whatever' bc she'd be in trouble for being cheeky but her face and actions say it alll right. And she's arguing with me a lot, and justifying her laziness and 'I was only saying....blahblahblah...!!!' This is all very new. Then!!! Bless her cotton socks... she's crying about something REALLY silly. Like 'I cAAAnt find my shoe!' It just dawned on me the other day when she did somethng like that that its hormonal! She is starting to grow up! And I rolled my eyes and said 'Awww, come 'ere' and gave her a hug and laughed and said I understood. But MAN!! She is ....trying, very trying. New stage..... sigh. Next, I bet within a year or two shes started her period. She's not the same child she was a year ago. [whatwacko]

[JoyLynn]

Gen, I think girls and boys both go through hormonal spurts, just like growth spurts; and I think they go through phases throughout their growing up years, just as they did when they were babies and toddlers.

My 14 yr old daughter, Carissa, started her period a year ago, when she was 13. My 12 (nearly 13) year old, Courtney, just started having discharge this month, so I think she'll start within a year. That was the first sign for Carissa. She had her 'clear period', as she called it, for about nine months before she started. And Chloe' is going to be 10 in August, and I'm quite sure she's nowhere near that time yet. Anyway, my girls did go through crying seasons in their lives, and yeah, I do remember one at a around ten for the first two.

As for attitude, I wonder if your lil girl is just going through a phase, and hormonal fluctuations (which they start having at birth) just make emotions harder to deal with. I mean, little ones go through all kinds of odd and unexplainable mood swingy seasons. Being ten is probably no different. Another season.

One other thing. She may be picking up on some mannerisms from kids at school. All kids at all stages get frustrated, but it's what they do with that frustration that really counts. Kids without Jesus do all kinds of less than lovely things when they become frustrated, but kids with Jesus can be taught self control. I don't mean stuffing and denying feelings. I mean, this is another good opportunity to teach them how to talk about their feelings in a respectful way when they're upset, and that Jesus cares about their feelings and is always there to help them when they're feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or afraid.

*sigh* The phases, stages, and seasons of life... They never end, do they?

[lovewuvu]

Joy [welcomewave]

[kanaclark]

I agree with everything Joy just said, but to answer your title question, I think it varries on the location. Here, in the south, tweens are defined at a child between the ages of 9-12. so, not and 8 and under "kid" but not a thirteen or older teen. I think in other locations, more north, they tend to go with 10-12. either way, yep, your girls are tweens now! Nothing you can do but deal with it, my dear! It will pass.

I tell Gabe near daily, "if you continue with this, one of us is NOT making it to your 18th birthday, and seeing how I survived mine, it won't be me". He always tells me, "but we're half way there, mama'

LOL

good luck!

[Madre]

I tell Gabe near daily, "if you continue with this, one of us is NOT making it to your 18th birthday, and seeing how I survived mine, it won't be me". He always tells me, "but we're half way there, mama'

Kana, what a wonderful response from Gabe! The glass is half full, right? :-D

[kanaclark]

yeah, at least I smile then, ya know!

[krazee4jc]

My poor Rebekah started her cylce at the end of 4th grade....she so needed the preteen midol! She would be in the worst pain! The RX & Prayer is a HUGE HELP. Now 11 it's getting better but the 1st year was a painful adjustment for her body :(

[Cheryl]

Me personally, I consider the preteen years to be 11-12....just before you get to thirTEEN. :mrgreen:

[krazee4jc]

I'm sure the age is 11

[gen]

Me personally, I consider the preteen years to be 11-12....just before you get to thirTEEN

:razz:

I meant when things start changing and stuff like that, cheeky. That is the context I meant it in...

Things are always so hard for this child in particular. She is such a soft sweet gentle person (unless her sister is annoying her, then the claws are out!) and people tend to bully her in school. Every year there's one who bullies her, she's been to three different schools and in every school theres always one who chooses her as a tartet. There hasnt been anything very nasty but I kind of wonder if its only a matter of time bc as kids get older, they get nastier, the nasty ones get nastier. Im not one of those people who think 'let the child learn thru being bullied', I dont consider it always a character builder, yk?

I also think she really needed some time spent with me on our own, some special mom time. Sigh. They are growing up so fast!

[Kristyau]

I use alot of the parenting ideas from the Ezzo's Babywise etc series (I realise alot of people are against it, but I've found sections of it very helpful). When my daughter turned 8 she was too old for the 'Childwise' book and so I went to the Christian bookshop asking for the book after Childwise. The man behind the counter said, "That would be Preteenwise". I answered politely, "No, my daughter is only 8. So I need the one between Childwise and Preteenwise". So he kindly led me to the right section and picked up the Preteenwise book and showed me the front cover. Preteen is from age 8 to 12 (written by a paediatrician). Apparently just after age 8 is when their teen hormones start to kick in (some slower than others). I read the book and it helped me to tell the difference between when my (now 9 yr old) is having a hormonal moment, or just having a naughty moment, and how to deal with it.

I always assumed once you get past the night time waking, toilet training and get to the time where you usually get first time obedience (the mummy knows best stage - when the kids still believe mummy/ daddy knows best), that everything gets easier. I'm realising I've done the easy bit, and now is the hard part (I'm sure it will probably only get harder).
Anyway, blabbing on and need a rest before the kids finish their rest time and it all starts up again!
God bless,
Kristy