dh and i decided that we want this babies gender to be a suprise when bean is born. but there are some ladies that want to maybe buy or sew things for the baby before it is born. and my friend/assistant pastors wife, asked if I could have the tech write down the gender in a envelope so she would know and be able to start buying things.

I don't know how i feel about that..... I don't think I want someone else to know the sex and I don't. you know what I mean. I mean people could always buy gender neautral clothes or gifts right?

What would you do? I was thinking I would just tell people that the bean wasn't in the correct position to tell anyhow.[halo]

No way!!

I would so not do that. Nope, nope, no way, no how. Are you kidding me? No.

They can make/buy something neutral or just wait. I'm sorry. But if *I* am not finding out, someone OUTside my family sure as heck ain't findin' out either.

Um, did I make my opinion clear here? LOL

I totally agree with Tara!

There's way too much pink and blue anyway- how about a nice yellow or green or orange or a cute neutral print?!

I say no to finding out at all if you really don't want to know. We've had 2 unknown sex babies born in our family in the past 4 months and there was no trouble buying or even making gender neutral gifts!!

I think people at Church mean well, but I agree with the other girls. This is your baby and your decision. Please don't feel pressurized to do this to make others happy. I know your friend is trying to do something nice, but still I think she should respect that you want a surprise :)
I think as the PAstor's wife sometimes Church members feel like it is their right to know your business or whatever and even well meaning but really this is something personal to you and dh. Sorry if Iam off on a rabbit trail but this bothers me a little bit!

NO

Think about the chances that the whole church will know and eventually someone will slip and you'll find out anyways which I'm sure is NOT the way you want to find out.

Janell

Thanks friends,
I'm glad I wasn't just thinking selfishly.

Irishmum~ you are so right. because when I told one lady in the church that we weren't finding out the sex she said "well I guess you don't want anything" LOL

I think I'm gonna just tell them that we're not finding out and you'll have to wait too.
It doesn't matter if others buy things or not because I have clothes for both genders.
And those that really want to make something or buy something will wait till the babys born or buy neutral items. right?

OK! Thank you.
Love you guys
and T' I always love your strong opinions! they put a smile on my face.[claploud]

I totally agree. That is insane that she had the guts to ask that in the first place!! totally inappropriate in my opinion. There are MANY cute gender neutral things out there, and like you said you already have enough pink and blue! I am glad you are not letting her sway you, stay strong in your decision. Be as polite as you can but common, that "request" was way out of line!

Yup I agree too! There is no way I would let someone else find out baby's gender if we're not finding out, I wouldn't even let my parents or in-laws do that. They can just buy gender neutral stuff or wait til baby is born.

I'm chiming in to agree with others. If you are not finding out baby's gender than everyone else needs to wait patiently... and with a smile :-).

It's totally possible to make or buy gender neutral gifts, plus you've already been blessed with a boy and girl. We really did have an uncooperative kiddo (#2 who's ultra-cooperative now, lol) and it made for a such an exciting birth. With our littlest we found out the gender, but kept the name a secret from everyone until after her delivery. We got lots of pressure about that too but were glad that we stuck by our decision.

I'm noddin' my head here too...don't tell 'em!

Another spin on things...if you ask for gender neutral things, don't be annoyed or surprised when people (at church or grocery store or whatever) ask if it's a boy or girl. I know some get frustrated with that!

So glad you're waiting...I secretly hope that if we have #3 that we'll wait until birth to find out gender too. We'll see what my dh says!

yah, I don't mind if someone asks "what are you having"? that doesn't bother me. It just bothered me that friend asked to have it written down for her....

Now for the name, I don't mind telling people what we've chosen because it's possible that it could always change at the last minute but.. the other thing...

so, what have you chosen for names? ;-)

I'm dittoing everyone else... there is plenty of yellow/green stuff out there! I could just seeeeeeeeeee someone slipping up and saying something to you and hub, and it would totally ruin it. I've gotta totally back T up here~ ::snort::


And yeah, what *have* you picked out for names? ;)

Why is it that other people have less patience than we do? ;) When I was pregnant with my first, somebody asked me if I could get an ultrasound and let her find out the gender without me finding out. Um, no.

I had a baby shower with girl stuff when my daughter was 1 month old and a gender neutral shower 5 weeks before my son was born.

[QUOTE=BlessedMommy;164360]Why is it that other people have less patience than we do? ;) When I was pregnant with my first, somebody asked me if I could get an ultrasound and let her find out the gender without me finding out. Um, no.

QUOTE]

Yah, see. what is wrong with people?
When my friend asked me I think I just laughed and said "yah, we'll see" but in my heart I was thinking "uh no" seriously, why would I want anyone else to know and NOT ME??? I just found it strange that she would ask.

As for names we're still battling that one.
I told you our girl name : Elliana Grace (or Faith) and we're "pretty sure" it will stay that,
but for boys.... I just don't know. I've gone through : Justus, Samuel, Jude, Isaiah, Elijah, This time around boy names are just harder. I guess it is because I "feel" like I'm gonna have a girl LOL

Oh that reminds me : at church one of the ladies came up to me and she was asking how I was feeling and she said she thinks I'm gonna have a girl. :hhmm I thought, and asked "why she thought that" and she said she could tell by how I was carrying! LOL I didn't know you could even try to predict this early, expecially since my belly isnt near baby prediction size! LOL People. you got to love them.

Wow! Can't believe she even asked that. I'm with everyone else. It's none of her business and I can see a slip up happening somewhere. Especially at your shower. I mean it would be obvious to you what the sex is if they all knew and showed up with pink at your shower. I guess we live in a day where most people find out beforehand and so now it's the not the norm to wait. Nobody seems to be patient anymore.

LOL By the way you are carrying....
You're 13 weeks and have NO belly...good gravy! THAT was funny!

Wow I can't believe someone would ask that. There are so many gender neutral options, yellow, white, mint green, I personally like orange and red, too, I love all the solids, stripes and prints. There was an adorable yellow sleeper I saw with neutral-colored animals all over it, it was great. If they are patient and creative they will be just fine.

I agree with the others.


Irishmum~ you are so right. because when I told one lady in the church that we weren't finding out the sex she said "well I guess you don't want anything" LOL


Is it so unusual for people not to find out that people don't know how to cope anymore when they don't know?

We didn't find out with either - and I don't remember anyone making comments about our choice. It was just accepted as a perfectly normal thing to do. There are plenty of unisex items that would be gorgeous for a boy or a girl. And you will probably find that you receive plenty of gender-specific items after the birth. We never lacked for girly things for our girl or boyish things for our boy.

I totally agree with Tara!

There's way too much pink and blue anyway- how about a nice yellow or green or orange or a cute neutral print?!

Gasp!! Are you kidding me?? :-o Never. There could never be enough pink and blue in this world. [heartbeat][heartbeat] LOL! [rotfl]

And, Tara, I totally agree with you. No way on earth. :-D

[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

WOW! She's got nerve! No way on earth would I let anyone else know before we found out! It would drive me nuts!!!

Oh no way! I mean, c'mon, you have to think about this!!? If you want the gender to be a secret, you certainly do not want others to know. Good grief. Honestly, I think a request like that was completely out of line. I don't care who they are. Were they maybe joking??? I would just tell them to knit something in yellow or green....sheesh.

Yeah, some people made blankets for me without knowing the gender and just put pink AND blue in the blankets, lol! They turned out just fine looking actually and I like those blankets!

Esther, I think that it's kind of whack that somebody said, "So you don't want any gifts, because you're not finding out the gender?" I mean, 50 years ago, they didn't find out the gender and I imagine that people managed to give gifts just fine. Sometimes it can be kind of good anyway to go gender neutral....I heard of a case where the mom was told by ultrasound that she was having a girl, so she had a shower with all pink girly things and she took the tags off and washed them all....and then she had a boy!

well, i am kinda torn...mainly because my hubby knows the sex of this baby and I don't. Also because I gave him permission to tell a good friend of mine who will be making the coming home outfit, and also my dad. So, with that being said. I think that it's up to you....and honestly, for me it doesn't matter who knows, I did this for me, not for anyone else.

I would not do it. No way. :D

Oh and BTW.....I love the name Elliana!