Did you ever get the feeling in your TTC journey that GOD is making things hazy, just to get a point across to you? This cycle I just keep *feeling* like I'm supposed to back off. This whole thing has been about *me* trying to control TTC and time it for one reason or another. The charting has been a good educational experience... but to be honest... that's not why I've been doing it.

I feel like I just need to quit. Let it go. Give it over to God if it's really a "want/need/concern" to me. I've only become more anxious over it, trying to make things happen more, and become irritable. I'm sure someone can identify. ;) It's been fun doing it... but I can't help but feel like I'm being lead to let it go. KWIM? When *God* brings us a BFP... I'll post pictures of it~ ;)

I know that taking things into my own hands would be an issue for me if I started charting and temping and stuff like that when we're ttc. I just like how for us, it's just so much less stressful to just BD every other day - for the whole month... but especially more approximately when I'm ovulating.

I DO get trying to learn about your body and charting if you've been trying for a while and you just feel like you want to see if there's anything out of wack, or just to know what's going on in your cycle. I think that's different for sure. 100%.

I know for me personally that control is a big issue and totally gets in the way of my relationship with God with so many other things....

I think that's what my question was a while back to everyone... like how much is it just giving up and trusting God and then taking action for yourself to figure out your body.
I just really don't get the balance.... but that's because that's the area that I struggle LOTS.

Okay, take this in LOVE! LOL....this is just my personal take on it and I have NO intention of 'hurting' anyone's feelings! Honest, a thousand hugs!
I HAD to chart/temp/meds/procedures for over 1.5 years to get pregnant with my first....it consumed our lives! We were continually doing in faith and felt God's approval in everything we did, but it was so all consuming! I HATED charting and taking temps and checking, it took all joy out of 'sex' with my husband because there was a mission to accomplish! We were blessed the next two pregnancies (although one in the middle was lost in our second term) of just 'getting' pregnant without all the charting/temps/mucus/etc....it was so LESS stressful and enjoyable and less draining on me emotionally and physically......
I guess I have never understood why those who do not 'need' to do all those things to get pregnant, do it? KWIM? Why induce all the stress like that? I understand some chart for Natural Family Planning and that is not what I do not get! LOL, I support that! ;-) It's just for those of you who have NOT had to worry about fertility issues and intentionally 'try' it all out....yes, being aware of your body is very important and reading up on how it all works and maybe tracking a month to see what exactly they are saying...but to do it repeatedly month after month when you can just 'enjoy your sex life' and family and then be blessed with a pregnancy without fertility issues seems so pointless to me.....
Again, NOT meant to hurt your feelings, I just actively encourage you to bypass it all if you 'don't ' have to do it to save yourself the emotional roller coaster, because it DOES get tiring/draining/scary/sad/stressful and I don't think it should be self-induced each month if not necessary! Hugs! Listen to your 'gut' instinct...God speaks quietly many times when he is heard the loudest in our hearts! [loveyou]

I feel like I just need to quit. Let it go. Give it over to God if it's really a "want/need/concern" to me. I've only become more anxious over it, trying to make things happen more, and become irritable. I'm sure someone can identify. ;) It's been fun doing it... but I can't help but feel like I'm being lead to let it go. KWIM? When *God* brings us a BFP... I'll post pictures of it~ ;)

Yep. I've SO been there. Because docs had told us to that we would likely never have another after #3 we really began to doubt Him. Then, when we had a m/c AND a failed adoption, I just plain got angry at Him. :-( We wanted so badly to be in control and tried to do all of the right things. Let's face it, we like to get *what* we want *when* we want it. I'm not saying this is you, just that this was us during that time.

Right after I moved us across country and started to plan my new baby/toddlerless lifestyle is when He chose to send us our precious babe. Can I be really honest?!? Dh danced for joy and I was honestly a tad bit irritated with the Lord about His odd timing. *covers face with pillow in embarassment/shame* Of course, God knew better than I did. His timing turned out to be perfect. He always is, always was, and always will be. She arrived just when we were really ready for her. I can see so clearly now that we were not ready the first 4 years of *trying*.

I'm think charting is great and I tend to believe that the Lord wants us to get to know all the great little intracacies of these miraculous bodies that He designed for us. But, I agree that it is important to keep it all in perspective. If He's leading you to let this go, then I'd say do it. Immediately.

I heard a really neat sermon the other day about looking *to* Jesus. Our Pastor told a story about standing in the checkout line. A little boy handed a small toy to the clerk and then looked up at his Dad. He stood there, just looking, while his Dad paid for the item. He couldn't buy it for himself, he stood watching and awaiting the gift. The idea is that so often we look *at* Jesus, but He wants us to look *to* Him. We need to remember how small we are and how big He is. The text was Hebrews 12:2 I believe.

((Hugs)) and prayers for patience coming your way.

Very eloquently said Beth...love the sermon metaphor! Great stuff!

Ditto! Thanks for sharing, gals!!!

I hesitate posting , but feel I need to. I feel like there has to be a balance. God gave us signs to learn from them. To know when or when not to bd. (IMO) I think if you are charting and obsessing over it then yes, take a step back, or just chart you cm. I like to know what is going on with my body, I'm not always accurate as to what is going on, but I like knowing that if I have ewcm then I am most likely fertile. It doesn't prevent me from having sex with my dh, it just makes me more wise about things, whether I am preventing or not. I believe regardless it is in God's control. God keeps reminding me of that. I still need to be wise on my part though. I have learned from the past that if I was ttc and af would show, I was to praise God, and if she didn't show, I was to praise Him. I enjoyed charting, I still do. Like I said, I like knowing what is taking place with my body *it's an amazing thing* I never felt like it put pressure on my sex life because we did it maybe 5 days out of the week anyhow. *tmi* but what I am trying to say is, charting is not a bad thing. If you allow it to take control then yes, it is. but use it more as a learning bases. To know your body better. You may be fertile Jen, but we all know that each pregnancy changes our body. That's why there are some that can have one child but never conceive again. or some that had to use fertility and was successful and then had no problem conceiving on their own. Are bodies are unique and constantly changing. I believe that God gave us fertility signs so we could use as a tool. simple as that. a tool. It is up to us how we handle that tool.
said with love

I hesitate posting , but feel I need to. I feel like there has to be a balance. God gave us signs to learn from them. To know when or when not to bd. (IMO) I think if you are charting and obsessing over it then yes, take a step back, or just chart you cm. I like to know what is going on with my body, I'm not always accurate as to what is going on, but I like knowing that if I have ewcm then I am most likely fertile. It doesn't prevent me from having sex with my dh, it just makes me more wise about things, whether I am preventing or not. I believe regardless it is in God's control. God keeps reminding me of that. I still need to be wise on my part though. I have learned from the past that if I was ttc and af would show, I was to praise God, and if she didn't show, I was to praise Him. I enjoyed charting, I still do. Like I said, I like knowing what is taking place with my body *it's an amazing thing* I never felt like it put pressure on my sex life because we did it maybe 5 days out of the week anyhow. *tmi* but what I am trying to say is, charting is not a bad thing. If you allow it to take control then yes, it is. but use it more as a learning bases. To know your body better. You may be fertile Jen, but we all know that each pregnancy changes our body. That's why there are some that can have one child but never conceive again. or some that had to use fertility and was successful and then had no problem conceiving on their own. Are bodies are unique and constantly changing. I believe that God gave us fertility signs so we could use as a tool. simple as that. a tool. It is up to us how we handle that tool.
said with love

I, for one, cherish different points of view! Thank you for sharing, Esther! I enjoy your posts and your perspective! ::hugs::

I totally agree with your post too, Esther. :-)

I fully support those that choose NFP to aid in conception or to avoid pregnancy. I think it's great to learn and understand as much about our God given bodies as possible.

My only point was that it *could* present a stumbling block to some. Also, that if the Lord is leading in a different direction, that one should follow. I think you are right on, such things are a tool and it all depends on how one uses it.

I appreciate everyone and their points of view very much. I'm grateful to be part of this community where so many are focused on being in the center of the God's will and plan for their life.

Yeah, you girls sure have been a real blessing to me on this new journey! I cherish each of your words~ :D God has used all of you to convey different aspects and points of view to me~ It's been really wonderful!

I'll share my viewpoint. :) Why should you chart if you don't want to become obsessed? To protect a baby from being delivered too early.

The most accurate knowledge of the exact date of conception can make a tremendous difference in the end of the pregnancy--when it comes to whether you become subject to unnecessary interventions such as elective induction if you're thought to be past due.

Example, with my first baby, I charted and knew that I was not due until August 9. By my last period, I would've been due July 31. The baby was born on August 21. Had I not been charting, I may have thought that I was WAY overdue. If I had been with a regular OB, I would've almost certainly been induced, because if you go by my LMP, I delivered her at 43 weeks, which is certainly not acceptable in traditional obstetrics. However, by my date of conception, I delivered at 41w5d, still late by any standards, but within the acceptable range.

This pregnancy I would've been due February 14 by my LMP. However, I charted and knew that I had ovulated late due to stress in the cycle. I calculated my own EDD and came up with February 26. The baby was born on February 27. If you go by my LMP, I would've been almost 42 weeks. But if you go by the most accurate knowledge of when conception happened, I gave birth right on the money!

I also like charting because I *do not* want any ultrasounds unless there's a serious medical reason. Using charting to date my pregnancy prevents the need for any dating ultrasounds. Not that my midwife is into ultrasounds anyway, but just as an extra precautionary.

Charting can also give you valuable information like showing when your thyroid is a bit low, when your luteal phase is short, etc. My temps on my charts indicate possible borderline low thyroid, so I'm going to order bloodwork at the OB. Thyroid problems are very important to treat, as they can cause birth defects, infertility, miscarriage, and depression.

I have never had any problems getting pregnant, but I CHERISH the information that I get from my charts and you would have to pry them from my cold, dead hands. :)

That's a great point, Ruth! I hadn't thought of that one.

I'll share my viewpoint. :) Why should you chart if you don't want to become obsessed? To protect a baby from being delivered too early.

The most accurate knowledge of the exact date of conception can make a tremendous difference in the end of the pregnancy--when it comes to whether you become subject to unnecessary interventions such as elective induction if you're thought to be past due.

Example, with my first baby, I charted and knew that I was not due until August 9. By my last period, I would've been due July 31. The baby was born on August 21. Had I not been charting, I may have thought that I was WAY overdue. If I had been with a regular OB, I would've almost certainly been induced, because if you go by my LMP, I delivered her at 43 weeks, which is certainly not acceptable in traditional obstetrics. However, by my date of conception, I delivered at 41w5d, still late by any standards, but within the acceptable range.

This pregnancy I would've been due February 14 by my LMP. However, I charted and knew that I had ovulated late due to stress in the cycle. I calculated my own EDD and came up with February 26. The baby was born on February 27. If you go by my LMP, I would've been almost 42 weeks. But if you go by the most accurate knowledge of when conception happened, I gave birth right on the money!

I also like charting because I *do not* want any ultrasounds unless there's a serious medical reason. Using charting to date my pregnancy prevents the need for any dating ultrasounds. Not that my midwife is into ultrasounds anyway, but just as an extra precautionary.

Charting can also give you valuable information like showing when your thyroid is a bit low, when your luteal phase is short, etc. My temps on my charts indicate possible borderline low thyroid, so I'm going to order bloodwork at the OB. Thyroid problems are very important to treat, as they can cause birth defects, infertility, miscarriage, and depression.

I have never had any problems getting pregnant, but I CHERISH the information that I get from my charts and you would have to pry them from my cold, dead hands. :)

EXcellent point, Ruth... as always... you give such a great argument for that! That truly *is* a great reason to chart... obsessed or not. ;) ::snort:: Thanks again, Ruth~