As I reflect on what I spend so much thinking about when there is time, I see a pattern of judging myself and seeking ways to improve as well as affirmation from others that what I'm doing is ok and doesn't need to be improved on. It seems like improving oneself is good but selfish at the same time. It's those times I'm focusing on serving others that I find later I have grown the most from. But there are those situations...

There are situations that don't make sense, like why my middle child isn't very attached to any family members when he is loved and raised the same as the others, with the exception of being his father's favorite and allowed to make his own rules for himself most of the time. It creates situations that significantly affect everyone, some obvious, some that cause real anxiety that no one talks about openly because we don't understand why he is different from the rest of us and it scares us. We can't predict what he will do like we can other family members. He comes across as very selfish many times, but if you aren't that attached to anyone and don't really care much how others feel... Talk about putting your trust in God for your child...This will do it. Still, there are the nagging questions about if I should have been doing something different for him... Anyway, is it possible to EVER understand some things like this even if it would make our lives more enjoyable and much easier if we did (I assume). Should we be using our time reflecting on things we can't understand or therefore change? Just a thought before I get my dd and serve supper. :D

The Bible does teach us to "walk circumspectly for the days are evil" and it certainly mentions self examination - but if it's to the point where one now has a big stumbling block and can no longer see that he/she has right standing with the Lord, then it obviously needs checking and praying about.

As for seeking affirmation from others or approval - I think it's best just to check ourselves Biblically rather than seek too much approval. There is a place for wise counsel but if there is too much seeking of approval or affirmation we can become slaves to that (I know all about it BTDT) and people can be dead wrong also!

Perhaps pray about the issue at hand and see what the Lord shows you.

Thanks for the thought, that's really where I'm at too, sometimes I just question...And I will continue praying about it. I have a feeling it'll come up in church soon, it usually does when I am questioning and praying, LOL, God is good and responds in many different ways. My dh was questioning something a few weeks ago and the question was addressed in several radio shows and church sermon...He told me he got the answer all ready, he didn't need to hear it over and over. Laughing, I told him it looked like God thought otherwise. My dh had to laugh too.

There are situations that don't make sense, like why my middle child isn't very attached to any family members when he is loved and raised the same as the others, ... Should we be using our time reflecting on things we can't understand or therefore change? Just a thought before I get my dd and serve supper. :D

I think that's a common plight of "the middle child", because they're sandwiched among everyone else and may feel--even if the family is truly doing nothing to treat him/her differently--that they're being ignored or not treated as special. Kevin Lehman talks about it in length on his book about birth order.

Reflecting on things, even though you can't understand or change it, is good--it can lead to insight that will help you understand the situation. Obsessing on things will just lead to frustration and feeling helpless, KWIM?

[/quote]Reflecting on things, even though you can't understand or change it, is good--it can lead to insight that will help you understand the situation. Obsessing on things will just lead to frustration and feeling helpless, KWIM?[/quote]

I don't think many of us have time to obsess but certainly the little time we do have to ourselves is important and that's the reason for the question. Sounds like others out there reflect too so it obviously isn't a waste of time or less of us would do it. :) Thank you for your thoughts and sharing them.