Ok, so this isn't going to sound like a huge deal, but I'm trying to prepare my self mentally and emotionally. I have my first MW appt this Sunday, these are not independant midwives, they are national health service midwives so they go by national health service guidelines. Most of you know my history, had a c-section with Abby, had a VBAC with Micah at the hospital in the city. There is a birth center type place here in town which is where I want to give birth to this baby but the "guidelines" state that since I had a c-section 2 births ago, that I will always be considered high-risk and have to go to the hospital in the city. That may not sound like a big deal, but with my birth with Micah I had lots of unnecessary medical intervention, was spoken to horribly by an OB and made to feel like a horrible mother by same OB, ended up with a very bad 3rd degree tear which I feel was a result of the unnecessary medical intervention and I really don't want to go down that road again. So here is my deal, at my appt on Sunday I'm going to tell the MW that I refuse to go to the hospital and that I want to deliver at the birth center here in town. There is no reason why I can't, I'm not any more high risk than a normal pregnancy. The law in the UK is that we have the right to choose where to give birth regardless of what the health professionals say, they can't refuse you medical care no matter what, but that doesn't stop them from bullying you. I would have hired an independant midwife if I could just to avoid all this, but the closest one is 5-6hours away so that's a no go. So on Sunday is my booking in appt, where we talk about where I'm going to give birth and yada yada. So I pretty much have to go in with my face set like flint. I have prayed so much about this, that the midwife would be surprisingly supportive and encouraging. There is another midwife on the team who I know well from the breastfeeding group, and she is all for me giving birth here in town, she says that there is no reason I couldn't. But unfortunately she isn't MY midwife, so I'm hoping my MW will be as supportive. As I said before, legally they can't refuse me but that doesn't stop them from heaping emotional guilt on me. So I need your encouragement and prayers. I don't know what I want you to say...lol....just say anything if you have to..lol. Ok, I'm done with my long saga now. Love you ladies:)

Praying for an easy pregnancy Eva in ALL areas! :) ~Kerri

Eva, I know you're right. btdt with the nhs and giving birth. They do try to bully you. I will pray for you!

Eva, I sure will be lifting you up!! Big hugs gal!

I will be lifting you up in prayer. I pray everything will turn out well!

Ah, that's hard, Eva. I'm saying a prayer for you to have the discernment that you need. What came to my mind is could you do a homebirth? Or would that require using the midwife that is 5-6 hours away?

Praying for you! Sorry you had such a rough time at Micahs birth with the OB. Praying that this time it is completely different in a good way!

Praying your first appointment goes well and you can find peace about where to deliver.

Ah, that's hard, Eva. I'm saying a prayer for you to have the discernment that you need. What came to my mind is could you do a homebirth? Or would that require using the midwife that is 5-6 hours away?

I have actually thought and prayed hard about a homebirth. I could legally have one, but it would be an even bigger fight to get it. I just thought I would take the lesser of the battles...lol. It's funny bcuz I have known several people who have had homebirths up here, and they all had to fight to get them and they weren't even classed as "high-risk". It's more common down in England, even among the NHS, but up here they are a bit reluctant to let you have one. And the independant midwife that is 5-6 hours away won't even take me on bcuz I'm so far away. I think I would have to be within 60 miles or something. I did think that if worse came to worse, I'll just stay at home as long as possible, they won't send me through to the city if I'm 7cm or more dilated. But I'm really praying that my MW is supportive. Either way, I'm still gonna have to fight this with the OB, but that doesn't bother me as much bcuz I only see her once, where as I see my MW alot more and would really like her support. Anyway, thanks everyone for your prayers. I will let you know how it goes on Sunday.

Praying they are supportive. I know how it feels to never want to deliver in a hospital ever again and am going for a birthing center this time also.

I'll be praying for you.

I was actually in a similar situation with my last child. I wanted a VBAC, but sadly no one in our area (MW) would accept our insurance and we couldn't pay out of pocket. God finally gave me peace in my heart and reassurance that we would take care of me. I pray, that no matter what your decision is, he will do the same for you.

Well, I had my appt on Sunday and it went slightly better than I expected. I told the MW that I wanted to fight to give birth at the birth center. I explained to her about the not so pleasant experience I had in the hospital last time and said I just don't want to go down that road again. The OB on duty when I went into labor with Micah basically said to me "Do you want your baby to die? Bcuz if you don't do what we say then that could be the case". I'm totally paraphrasing that as I can't remember the exact words, but it was appalling. The MW kept saying that she understands where I'm coming from and she knows what I want and she wants to give it to me, but she wouldn't be doing her job if she flippantly said yes, and that she doesn't want to be on duty and something go wrong. She kept saying that in her heart she's concerned about the safety aspect of it all, but that on the other hand she wants to give me what I want. She explained all the risks I'm facing, I explained that I was aware of them and that the risks are alot less than they make out, that we are looking at a 1% or less than 1% risk of uterine rupture and to me that doesn't signify "high risk". She focused on the facts that Micah was born early, that he was heavy for being early, and that I tore so bad. She said she was concerned that if I went to term this time that the baby would be huge which would put extra stress on my pelvic floor/perineum. She also said that I would probably have to have a scan at 34/36 wks to determine the baby's size, which I know can be really inaccurate. So in the end, she said that she really wants to give me what I want, and could she speak to her boss about it and that I would need to speak to the OB about it all, which I'm totally not looking forward to but was expecting I would have to do anyway. I'm just feeling like all these big giants are standing all around me, but I know in my heart that I can do it. It's the fighting that is hard, the fear that's placed in your head, and the lack of encouragement. I trust my body, I trust God, and I just really want to have the perfect birth on my terms. I would have hired an IM just to avoid all this, but there isn't one within 100's of miles of here. I will say again that I love my MW, I know she is just doing her job, and it actually went slightly better than I expected.

I have been praying about this so much. I have laid it down at the Lords feet. He knows my desire, He knows what the outcome will be, and I have asked God to tell me what He thinks I should do. If I'm gonna end up in the hospital any way, then I will stop the fight now and just book in for the hospital. But if He sees the end result as being a wonderful natural delivery, then I will continue the fight. The morning after my appt, I woke up with a complete peace that all will be well, and God will take care of me. So I haven't heard any specifics from God as of yet, and I might not. But I do have a peace that all will be well no matter what. Anyway, thanks for your prayers, and please continue them as my journey to have the birth I want still continues. Pray for clarity from the Lord, maybe all I'll ever get is a peace that all will be well, and I'm ok with that. I trust God. Anyway, thanks again for your prayers. I will keep you updated.:-D

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Eva! I will be praying that you get to see God's hand move in a huge and mighty way!!! This would be a wonderful opportunity for the Lord to give you a miracle to share with others!!! "We had the most amazing birth in the birth center because GOD made it happen..." ::sigh:: I love that stuff... kind of like our twin conception, problem free pregnancy and drug free birth... God gets all the glory for that! I'm praying for you Eva! :)

By the way... I cannnnnot believe you are already past the twelve week mark!!!!! Whoa!!!

By the way... I cannnnnot believe you are already past the twelve week mark!!!!! Whoa!!!

I know! Times going fast. You should see my belly, tis huge. I look about 5 months pg, same hugeness I had with Micah....eek!

I know! Times going fast. You should see my belly, tis huge. I look about 5 months pg, same hugeness I had with Micah....eek!

Maybe time for a picture update :-D

I'll be praying for your situation. I have seen first hand how some OB dr.'s are... and that's here in the states! I pray that God will speak clearly to you about the choices you'll need to make!

I'll be praying for your situation Eva!

Just updating this as God gave me some encouragement the other night. My appt is May 22nd to meet with the OB, and it's fast approaching.

The other night I was praying in general, but started praying for my labor and birth of this baby and about the situation at hand. A slight tangent I need to go on first though to make this make a little more sense....lol. One of my friends just had a baby and she used Natal hypnotherapy throughout the whole labor. And I'm talking, under hypnosis and stuff which is just super dodgy. Anyway, she was boasting that she had a pain relief free birth and no tearing due to the Natal hypnotherapy. So in my prayers I was just bearing my heart to God and was saying how annoyed I was that this Natal hypnotherapy was getting so much glory for pain free deliveries and good deliveries. And I told God that I wanted to have a natural birth with no pain relief and no tearing and that it would be an awesome birth because of God. Because He was there and helping me through it all. I told God that I wanted Him to get the glory for an amazing birth so that people can see that God is so much greater than this natal hypnotherapy stuff. And right after I said that to Him, He said "Elijah prayed for rain and it rained, Elijah prayed the rain would stop and it stopped". It was if God was saying, "finally your motive for this birth is right, your motive has changed from being something you can get to bringing me glory and I'm going to answer your prayers." And if that wasn't enough the message at church (we started going to a new church a few weeks ago) was about prayer and God answering prayer. My faith has suffered in this department for some time after a friend died of cancer despite many prayers going up for her, including mine. So I believe God is building my faith back up and is telling me to continue to fight for the birth I want and He will give it to me if I give Him glory. So praise the Lord. Thanks to all who have prayed. My appt is in 2 weeks and I will let you know how it goes.

And I told God that I wanted to have a natural birth with no pain relief and no tearing and that it would be an awesome birth because of God. Because He was there and helping me through it all. I told God that I wanted Him to get the glory for an amazing birth so that people can see that God is so much greater than this natal hypnotherapy stuff. And right after I said that to Him, He said "Elijah prayed for rain and it rained, Elijah prayed the rain would stop and it stopped". It was if God was saying, "finally your motive for this birth is right, your motive has changed from being something you can get to bringing me glory and I'm going to answer your prayers." .

I so understand what you're saying, Eva! Praise God! This is exactly what I prayed when we A) prayed to HAVE twins, then B) for their birth which was C-section free, needle free and pain meds free!!!! and C) when I was over do with Eliya and the midwives were going to induce me... I wanted GOD to get the Glory for bringing our babies into this world... not some doctor or midwife... and GOD made it happen! You keep praying and praising as if He's answered and I truly believe God will answer your prayers! Big, big hugs gal!

Matthew 17:20
20And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

That's a wonderful prayer experience Eva! Our Lord does not leave us alone, and I believe He truly wants to give us our heart's desires! It's awesome that you want His will in your life and to glorify Him! Such wonderful motivations! I pray you do get the birth you desire, and if it's not the Lord's will, may He change your desires to match His and may you be happy with the outcome!
Blessings,
Amber