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Nope, no minivan there. It’s a gift certificate to the mall. Where you can buy over $500 worth of new clothes for yourself!

Ok. So you have moved up a notch. Things are looking bright. Now, your next decision is whether you want to keep your mall gift certificate, or trade that in for what lies under that huge, red and purple-striped box on the stage.

“Make a deal…make a deal...” chants the crowd.

Yes, I know it’s a tough decision. You say that you haven’t bought new clothes for yourself in so long you wouldn’t know where to begin. The size would probably depress you and you would probably end up spending the money at Children’s Place, or Toys R Us on kid stuff, or stocking up on diapers anyway. Makes sense.

Ok, you have decided to trade in your $500 mall gift certificate for what lies under that huge, striped box. Reveal the box please.

Yes, you have it right. You have traded up for a week long vacation in the Bahamas, for two. Woo hoo! You are on a role, girlfriend!

Now have to decide if you want to keep that dream vacation, or trade it in for what lies behind door number three.

“Make a deal…make a deal...” the crowd begins again.

You look pale and tired, like you could get a lot out of that vacation, dear one. Like you could use some lazy summer days of lying in the sand letting the sun warm your face with nothing but the sound of the waves crashing on the shore to lull you into a deep sleep.

So do you want to keep the dream vacation or trade it in for what lies behind door number three?

“Make a deal…make a deal...” the crowd chimes in.

She is making a deal folks! She is trading in that dream vacation in the Bahamas for what lies behind door number three! Can you believe it?

Ok. Please reveal what lies behind door number three….

Oh, I am sorry. It is an old man in a diaper, sitting in a giant rocking chair sucking his thumb. Wait a minute, though. He is holding something in his hands.

Yes, that’s it. He is holding a turkey hand print, a Christmas tree made out of noodles, and a note that reads, “I love you mom!”

Yes ladies and gentlemen! She has hit the jackpot! She has traded up everything she has for a lifetime of love, filled with sticky peanut butter hugs and Hershey kisses.

Wow! What a turnaround, folks! What a dream prize!

Ok. Who’s up next on Let’s - Make - a - Deal!