By Jodie Lynn
My wife just gave birth to our son around six weeks ago. Her roller coaster emotions fluctuate so much that I can't keep up and have problems knowing what to say when so I don't upset her. Can you help with subjects like what to say about pain, sleep, breastfeeding, her appearance and sex to keep me out of the doghouse?
ANSWER FROM READER:
Take it from someone who has gone through this five times... just nod your head yes and agree with her about everything. Hopefully, this roller coaster will soon pass. If she isn't better in two months, she may be experiencing postpartum and will need to talk to her doctor about what to do. - T. J. in Dallas, TX
The pain and soreness is very real, so never think it isn't. Although she is well on her way to normalcy, for some women it's harder to recover than for others, especially if it was hard labor, a difficult delivery, involved more than one baby or required a C-section. When your wife says she hurts... that's exactly what she means. And, yes, she is pretty much exhausted and could use several nights or even days of solid, undisturbed sleep. However, with a new baby in the house, that's almost impossible. For now, it would probably be best if you did not mention the topic of sex. This is the last thing on her mind. Do as much as you can to help her with your new son and in time, she will bring up the subject. As far as her appearance is concerned, just getting through a twenty-four hour period without feeling like an overweight, disheveled, emotional wreck would be delightful. But that's not going to happen anytime soon. Of course, you cannot help with breastfeeding, but if you enjoy cooking in any way, fashion or form, preparing the meals would be greatly appreciated. Pick up the slack with any and all assorted household tasks you can think of: cleaning up after meals, doing the laundry, straightening up the house, grocery shopping, etc. Furthermore, put any apprehensive feelings you may be wrestling with aside; things can be discussed and gone over once things have steadied a bit. The reduction in stress will be greatly appreciated and allow her to feel more rested, contributing to better breastfeeding sessions and a speedier return to the regular. Believe me, if you do the best you can and support her while watching your words for anything that could be considered negative, critical, demanding, unjustified complaining and so on, she will notice and love you all the more for it.
CAN YOU HELP?
This is an odd question, but we have a six-year-old daughter who will soon start losing her teeth and was wondering what amount the tooth fairy now brings? Some of our friends give as much as $5.00 per tooth. Therefore, she is already expecting this. We think this is far too high. However, we don't know how to explain why she will not receive that amount.
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