Christian Mommies Home Page

  > Columns > Parent To Parent

Dressing in All Black Not All Bad

By Jodie Lynn


My 13-year-old just started a new middle school. All of a sudden, he wants to buy and wear all black. His dad doesn't want him to do so mainly because it looks like a type of gang-related stigma. However, it's the only thing he has ever asked to do. What should we consider in either allowing this or not?


Wearing all black has always been seen as gang-related. It is not. When I was in middle school, I made new friends from a different school district. They had been wearing all black since fifth grade. I just wanted to do something different. Plus, not having to choose what to wear every morning actually helped with my stress level. My parents also balked, at least in the beginning. Our deal was if my grades went down, I would have to go back to dressing normally. I kept my word and my parents kept their end of the bargain, so it all worked out. However, every day I wore black, my dad griped. Even today, as a successful young woman, he shudders should I wear a completely black outfit. - F. F. in Colorado Springs, CO


Apparently, there can be several reasons why kids go through stretching their imagination in order to either be accepted or build some independence, especially in a new middle school or high school. If it is the very first time your son has wanted to go off the beaten path, and even asked permission to do so, then why not give it a shot. You can always get to know the other kids and their parents. Ask how it got started, what is the purpose of it and how the kids are doing in school. If his behavior should change more than is normal for most teenagers, set up some guidelines and go from there. For example, watch for failing grades, an argumentative attitude and emotional ups and downs. Otherwise, it appears harmless at this time. Keep in touch with his teachers as well. Talk with his dad and ask that he not make any detrimental remarks, at least when your son is within earshot. Take it one day at a time.

Keep Reading


What is a good way to teach my six-year-old daughter that regardless of what her dad buys her, she cannot have everything she asks from me. We are divorced and he is playing the poor little "no one loves me" ex-husband scenario. He says that buying her whatever she wants is his way of trying to be sure that she knows he loves her. I am a single mom who does not want a spoiled little diva on my hands.

To share parenting tips or submit questions, write to: Parent to Parent, 2464 Taylor Road, Suite 131, Wildwood, MO 63040. Email direct2contact, or go to which provides a secure and easy way to submit tips or questions. All tips must have city, state and first and last name or initials to be included in the column.

© Jodie Lynn
Jodie Lynn is an award-winning internationally syndicated family/health columnist and radio personality. Her syndicated column Parent to Parent has been successful for over 10 years and appears in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and throughout the Internet. She is a regular contributor to several sites including,,,,, and Lynn has written four books and contributed to three others, one of which was on Oprah and has appeared on NBC in a three month parenting segment. Her latest books are "Mom CEO (Chief Everything Officer) - Having, Doing and Surviving It All!" (June 2006) and "Syndication Secrets - What No One Will Tell You!" (March 2006).
Please visit for details on her new radio talk show, Inside Parenting Success.


Join the Christian Mommies Forums to participate in our friendly online community, and have grown-up conversation with other Christian moms. As an alternative try our "Mom Site" Affiliate Moms of Faith's online community.

Christian Mommies Home Page - Site Map
Facebook Page  Pinterest  Twitter
Facebook Page - Pinterest - Twitter

Copyright © 2001-2018 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
By accessing this site you are automatically held to the Terms of Use.