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Best Friends Split, But Moms Still Friends


By Jodie Lynn
www.ParentToParent.com



QUESTION:

My six-year-old has had a best friend come over to play since she was three. They've gotten along pretty well until the last three months. Now my daughter doesn't want the other child around at all. How do I handle this when I am such good friends with her mom?

ANSWER FROM READER:

I also had a similar situation with our seven-year-old son. About halfway through school this year, he no longer wanted to do things with his best friend of three years. The little boy's mom and I were super close. We had to make the choice to either just do things occasionally with each other without the boys or split our friendship. Of course in the beginning, we tried to get them back together but it just didn't work. Our friendship meant enough to us that for now, we just meet each other at least once a month without the kids. It has worked out well so far. - Shelly Y. T. in Los Angeles, CA

FROM JODIE:

Sometimes if both parents are really good friends but the kids decide that they need a change, the adults can certainly still work out a way to keep their friendship intact. However, this is often a tad easier with boys as opposed to girls. Girls seem to be more emotionally attached to their best friends as well as to the mom of the best friend. This presents a problem because many young girls have come to view the other mom like her own and feel heartbroken or even betrayed when the “other” mom basically takes up for her own child. The situation might be able to be straightened out if both girls talk with each mom and try to explain what happened that has them so upset with each other. Who knows, there may be a misunderstanding that the two of you could help with to perhaps mend the friendship. If not, give the girls time off from each other. In the future, they may or may not repair the closeness that they once shared for each other. If they don't, try to accept it and not make a big deal out of it. Don't make them feel guilty. For now, there's no reason why the two of you cannot continue your own friendship.

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CAN YOU HELP?

I think you may have written before on this topic but I hope you will do so again. Our 16-year-old son is a sophomore in high school and is a part of the football team for next school year. However, most of the boys seem to party quite a bit. We are happy our son made it but are less than thrilled that beginning this summer, he will have to start practicing and basically hang out with kids on the football team. How should his dad and I handle the challenge of making sure he has enough confidence not to make poor choices without constantly monitoring his every move?

To share parenting tips or submit questions, write to: Parent to Parent, 2464 Taylor Road, Suite 131, Wildwood, MO 63040. Email direct2contact @parenttoparent.com, or go to www.parenttoparent.com which provides a secure and easy way to submit tips or questions. All tips must have city, state and first and last name or initials to be included in the column.

© Jodie Lynn
Jodie Lynn is an award-winning internationally syndicated family/health columnist and radio personality. Her syndicated column Parent to Parent has been successful for over 10 years and appears in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and throughout the Internet. She is a regular contributor to several sites including eDiets.com, KeepKidsHealthy.com, ClubMom.com, BabyUniverse.com, CatholicMom.com, MainStreetMom.com and MommiesMagazine.com. Lynn has written four books and contributed to three others, one of which was on Oprah and has appeared on NBC in a three month parenting segment. Her latest books are "Mom CEO (Chief Everything Officer) - Having, Doing and Surviving It All!" (June 2006) and "Syndication Secrets - What No One Will Tell You!" (March 2006).
Please visit www.ParentToParent.com for details on her new radio talk show, Inside Parenting Success.

 

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