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Moments for Mom August 2004

By Elisabeth Corcoran

When Miss Type A Enters Solitude - Part I

A good deal of the time, I run through life. Picture Fred Flintstone doing what he does to get his car started - how he runs so fast you can't even see his feet anymore - that's me. However, I am not always in high gear. I seem to have two other shifts...there is the contemplative side of me, and then there is the slothful aspect, which we don't need to touch on right now. It's not black and white for me. Because of my quieter side --- or perhaps, because of my Type A tendencies, a few months back I could tell I was in need of some alone time with God. So I made plans to spend four days at a spiritual retreat center - just me and God.

But how do I know if I need to get away?

I guess I was waiting for an extended amount of alone time to just fall into my lap. What was I thinking? I have a husband, two young children, a house to take care of, a part-time position at my church, not to mention my writing and speaking ministry. Days with nothing going on just don't happen for me. So I knew I had to plan it. It really started to hit me when I began noticing some character issues --- either ones I hadn't noticed before or ones that were surfacing more frequently.

Here was my particular list:

So, basically, just a few things to kick around.

Now, you might not have a list like mine, but here are two questions that author and pastor, John Ortberg, uses to gauge how his soul is doing that he was given by Dallas Willard to consider:

Now don't get me wrong. Every time you feel discouraged or irritated does not require hauling yourself off to a monastery. I believe firmly that Jesus is our 'ever-present Teacher', as Richard Foster calls him. I know he could have worked with me on my big issue at home - and I know this because it didn't take four days for us to crack that case - it was within the first 15 minutes that he and I settled it. However, there are just some things that can't get through in the noise and rush of daily life. And for that, going away may become necessary.

I think all my issues probably could have fallen under one of those two categories that Ortberg mentions. So I scoured my schedule, and my husband's, and my kids', and booked four days at a spiritual retreat center close to my home. However, booking it was just the beginning.

How do I prepare?

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Well, for one thing, I kept adding to my list of 'things I want to talk through with God' that I felt needed a significant period of time to work through. I also began praying that I would use the time wisely and that God would do in me what he wanted to do, as well as asking a few close friends to pray for my time away.

As to what I brought along with me; that will, of course, vary depending on:

Here is what I packed, along with my goals for those four days:

Your list will obviously look different depending on your needs at the time. I hope to take a retreat sometime where all I bring is my Bible and a journal, but that's not where I was at this time around. retreat adventures will continue next month,
but in the meantime, do you need to get alone with God?...

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© Elisabeth K. Corcoran
Elisabeth Corcoran is the author of "In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother's Heart (2005)" and "Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul (2001)". She is wife to Kevin, and mom to Sara, 11-&-1/2, and Jack, 10. Her passion is encouraging women and the Church, and applying her gifts to eradicating global poverty, as well as local and global AIDS, one small step at a time, which she hopes to fulfill through her writing and speaking, and her connection with Open Door Clinic in the Fox Valley area and her church's partnership in Bo, Sierra Leone. You can learn more about Elisabeth and her ministry at


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