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Twins and Seeing Eye-to-eye


June-July, 2009

By Cheryl Lage

QUESTION:

Hi Cheryl,
You probably get a ton of email but figured I'd ask you a quick question if you've got the time. Was it important for you to have the twins see each other? I'm looking to purchase two Britax Boulevard car seats for my twins but am concerned that the Side-Impact wings would impede their vision of each other. They're just starting to have fun looking at each other in their infant seats. I actually like the car seats for the reason that they have the wings but am bummed that they won't be able to see/play with each other. Our longest car rides are about 30 minutes to 1 hour.

By the way, I really enjoyed reading Twinspiration while pregnant and have endorsed it on many websites and questions from twin mommies who have tons of questions about their pregnancies. I thought it was very helpful and put my mind at ease as it talked about things I was really curious/concerned about. I was not looking to buy a book but stumbled upon it on Amazon. I am so thankful that I took the time to click on the link. I still refer to it occasionally.

God bless,
Diana

RESPONSE:
Hi Diana--
Never hesitate to send an email.granted, I am not always as expeditious in my response as I'd like, but I LOVE hearing from readers!

To answer this question: "Was it important for you to have the twins see each other?" Yes, it was! When we were expecting Darren and Sarah and contemplating the infamous double stroller decision, I was 100% convinced I wanted a side-by-side model for that very reason. I loved the idea of them able to initiate contact and being on an equal plane.the idea of "one behind the other" as they needed to be in inline strollers just seemed a less appealing option.especially since they had already been subjected to the unavoidable "A" and "B" assignations in utero! Enter my husband's wisdom. Fully aware that I'd be committed to getting the babies (and myself) our early and often, all the side-by-side models we saw/test-drove seemed inordinately wide and unwieldy for mall/store/narrow sidewalk navigation (things have changed since 2001!) Plus the DuoGlider (oh, how passionately I loved ours!) was SO sturdy (and yes, heavy) but it gave me a sense of stability and 100% mobility. They managed PLENTY of contact, even when they were placed in positions when you'd think it unlikely!

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Here's where we bring it full circle (did you think I'd never get there? ;) ): When our duo was still in the back-facing carseats, in order for me as drivin' mama to see them/confirm they were each okay en route to anywhere (their carseats were on opposite edges of a Mercury Sable's backseat) we placed one of the Elmo mirrors (meant for babies to see themselves head on when front facing), smack-dab in between their two seats, pinned to the center of the backseat of the car. Using the rear view mirror and a slight head lean, I could easily see each face. AND, they could catch each other's gaze in it too! Granted, your two are older if you're already getting new seats, BUT is the back of your front seat solid? Could you mount a centrally placed mirror at the midpoint between their front-facing (and extra safe with side barriers!) seats so angled faces could make reflected contact with each other? If you have front bucket seats (and therefore can't do a midpoint mount), perhaps strategically angling a mirror placed right in front of each might give some visual access to a bit of twin's face.and certainly self-looking is fun in those early years, too. Of course before you know it, their verbal contact will be exploding by leaps and bounds.visual barriers can't stop that!

Best of luck with your decision. In your shoes, as much as I love the idea of full facial contact between twins on the road, the safety benefit provided by the side-impact barriers in this instance would trump the temporary limitation of eye-to-eye contact.

Thanks so much for your kind words and for a great question!
Best and blessings, and enjoy those babies!
Cheryl
www.Twinsights.com

Feel free to contact me with your experiences in twin potty-training, or with any twin parenting dilemnas you may have at http://www.twinsights.com. I hope to hear from you!

© Cheryl Lage, 2004-present
Author of "Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice From Pregnancy Through the First Year" from Taylor Trade Publishing (2006), Cheryl is a fully-mobile, full-time mom to four-year-old fraternal twins, Darren and Sarah. Cheryl's unabashed honesty, vigilantly supportive style, and willingness to share "what works" have made her a requested speaker on a broad range of topics, twin-related, and otherwise. Check out her website @ twinsights.com.

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