Work at Home Success By Jill Hart
Mom Laughs By Cheryl Moeller
Simplifying Motherhood By Trish Berg
Ask A Twin Mommy By Cheryl Lage
Mothering By Heart By Cheri Fuller
Jelly Mom By Lisa Barker
Family Check-up By Sheila Wray Gregoire
Parent to Parent By Jodie Lynn
Moments for Mom By Elisabeth Corcoran
Making the Most of Marriage By Paula Friedrichsen
Staggerered Schedules and Needing Sleep!
August, 2006
By Cheryl Lage
QUESTION:
Hello-
I am the mom of 6 month old twins Sarah and Robert. They were
premature, born at 29 weeks and their gestational age is just 3 1/2 months. My
twins were in the NICU for 2 months, and Sarah came home with colic so
you can imagine that we have been very challenged.
Sarah is finally coming out of the colic, just in time for teething,
arghhh!
My question has to do with sleeping and what to expect given their gestational vs/ chronological ages. Right now my son is still up every three hours for food. We started him on rice cereal and he eats it 2 times a day, sometimes he will go 4 hours before waking. Sarah on the other hand is on nutramigin and eats every 3 hours during the day but at night can go 4 to 7 hours sometimes with out eating and sometimes will sleep for 5 hours, this is a blessing. The problem is that my husband and I in order to get some sleep have separated care of the babies at night. I sleep with Sarah in our bedroom and he stays with Robert in the nursery. Part of the problem has been that Sarah has had to sleep in the bouncy because of her reflux.
I guess I am just wondering if this is ever going to change, if we
should just start putting them both in the nursery and see what
happens.
Up until recently we have been so paranoid about waking Sarah up and
setting up a horrible bout with crying that we are afraid to let them
sleep in the same room.
Any advice??
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!
-Twin Mom B
ANSWER:
Hi B, and congratulations on your twins!
Additional congrats are in order for having found workable (albeit
challenging) methods to “make it through” some rough days and situations.
Don’t ever feel “badly” for finding a way that “works”…you know your
family and your unique situation best. When it comes to managing with
infant twins, Let’s see if we can help you make things smoother yet!
First and foremost, have you talked with the babies’ pediatrician to see if they are “ready/okayed” to attempt the “through the night” sleep? If they weigh enough and are “ready” (we got permission to try when ours were 14 ½ weeks, just under 3 months gestationally), in your shoes, here’s what I would do to take, leave, or use as a leaping point...
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For your full-family ease, I’d try to get Sarah and Robert back into the same room…even if Sarah (and don’t I love that name--our daughter shares it!) is in a bouncy for reflux (as both ours were) there’s no real reason to feel the babies need to sleep in matching accommodations! I’d also try to get them on the same schedule feeding-wise. You’ll be amazed at how often one baby can be WAILING inches from a sibling and they’ll sleep right through. The uterus was a LOUD place. Don’t feel as though the babies need complete silence in order to sleep. Even if the babies DO wake each other (and yes, they will at times), if you have them in the same room, ONE parent can go in to console both with loving tone, chest rubbing, restarted classical music CDs, white noise maker, whatever. It is doable! You can share the parental “juggling” by taking turns going into the nursery, and you’ll find you both will get more rest once you acclimate to a “new” routine.
Even though it’s a blessing to have one baby “sleep longer” the fact that you and your husband need to “juggle” responsibilities from separate rooms and at separate times has got to be getting old! (I’m guessing that is partially your reason for writing in) If you do get the okay, I’d work to feed BOTH babies simultaneously at each feeding during the day (and night if need be…we were on the feed every three hours for that full first 3.5 months home. It will likely take a few days to get everyone “used” to a routine, but in your place, I’d definitely give it a shot. Once the babies learn what they can count on and when, there tends to be a “relaxing” effect...and might just be at the age where they can "relax" into lengthier night sleeping.
I'm going to e-mail you the "Routine, Routine, Routine" chapter from my
book, Twinspiration.
It goes into much lengthier details about how we found a method that
worked well for all four of us. Perhaps some aspects of it will help you
discover a routine that works best for you.
Best and blessings, and abundant wishes for LOTS of sleep in your near
future!
Cheryl
www.Twinsights.com
Feel free to contact me with your experiences in twin potty-training, or with any twin parenting dilemnas you may have at http://www.twinsights.com. I hope to hear from you!
© Cheryl Lage, 2004-
Author of "Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice From Pregnancy Through the First Year" from Taylor Trade Publishing (2006), Cheryl is a fully-mobile, full-time mom to four-year-old fraternal twins, Darren and Sarah. Cheryl's unabashed honesty, vigilantly supportive style, and willingness to share "what works" have made her a requested speaker on a broad range of topics, twin-related, and otherwise. Check out her website @ twinsights.com.