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About 4 months after our twins were born, I asked my husband how he felt I "acted" in those crazy sleep-deprived/hormonally shifting days.

His response? "You were pretty snippy at times."

I am confident that was a gross understatement, intended to spare my feelings. So if your friend is a bit "snippier", cut her some slack. You may laugh about it four months from now.

That said, what quick bits of advice to dispense....

Do whatever you can to get the twins on a synchronous schedule as soon as possible. Ours were on a doctor-dictated feed every three hours schedule, so immediately we were in a groove. Granted, it was an exhausting groove, but a groove nonetheless! Each feed/burp/diaper hour was followed by approximately one hour of play/stimulation, and then another hour of nap pre-feed.

Biggest advice: ALWAYS try to sleep or at the very least lie down when the twins do. If you are on a mandatory feeding schedule (and many twins are), you only have a tiny window for rest every third hour. Housework can and should wait...an overly-exhausted Mommy is no good to anyone.

USE AN ANSWERING MACHINE!!! (If for some reason your friend doesn't have one, this would be an incredibly thoughtful gift.) Screen calls and take your time returning them. Put a "we're busy with our newborn twins" recording on the outgoing message, and folks can (and should) understand.

Limit guests. From the sounds of things, she is beset with people that she may not necessarily need to have visiting or "helping" at this early stage.

We did turn away "help" that was well-intended, but more trouble than it was worth.

For instance, "Oh, I know you must be dying for some adult conversation...I'll pop by and see those cute babies and we can talk." Until those twins are sleeping more than 5-6 hours consecutively and regularly, you need REST more than adult conversation! (Heck, I was incapable of adult conversation til I was better rested...right about when ours turned 3 months!) Use discretion in accepting "help"...if someone wants to do laundry, get groceries, make a meal, mow the yard...THAT is real help. Take it. (You as a friend can offer that type of help as you can, but with an 18-month old, you are pretty darned busy, too! Maybe if you are running errands, let her know...she can tag some related peripheral needs onto your trip. )

Tell her not to pressure herself about anything. ..especially things like inviting all her shower guests, family, friends, church congregation, and her address book by to see the new twins.

Extending invitations for social visits, thank you notes, birth announcements, make-up application...all of those things can. and likely will, happen, but she shouldn't lose sleep over when.

In total honesty, sometimes I bagged the shower in the interest of getting sleep. Every mom should figure out what her personal necessities are, and act accordingly.

Gaining the support/encouragement/advice/perspective of fellow twin moms was VERY helpful to me in those early days...even if it was just to vent a bit to folks who "knew the drill". Here at Christian-Mommies.com there is a thriving message board/forum for multiple moms. Let her know it is here! Online is a great way to do it, since you keep odd (to put it mildly) hours those first few months with newborn twins.