Work at Home Success By Jill Hart
Mom Laughs By Cheryl Moeller
Simplifying Motherhood By Trish Berg
Ask A Twin Mommy By Cheryl Lage
Mothering By Heart By Cheri Fuller
Jelly Mom By Lisa Barker
Family Check-up By Sheila Wray Gregoire
Parent to Parent By Jodie Lynn
Moments for Mom By Elisabeth Corcoran
Making the Most of Marriage By Paula Friedrichsen
Multiplying Post-Multiples?
April, 2006
By Cheryl Lage
QUESTION:
Hi Cheryl,
My beautiful baby boys are almost 11 months. I know I want more
children but I'm not sure how old my twins should be before I start again. Any
advice on this? I was thinking I would wait till they were at least 3
before I started again so they would be old enough to understand and do
some things themselves. What do you think?
Twincerely,
C(very happy stay at home mommy)
ANSWER:
Hi C! What a happy query, and what a great reflection on you as a Mama
that you are so thrilled with your sweeties that you know you want
more!
(It is a great testimony to those little boys, too!)
As far as your questions, “Any advice on this?” and “What do you think?”, there obviously is a lot of personal subjectivity involved in the response to that question!
Granted, whenever the “next” arrival (or arrivals!) comes, you will do a marvelous job. As a mother of “advanced maternal age”, if I were committed to adding a biological child of our own to the mix, I’d be poorly served to wait even a day. If that is not an issue in your situation, then at least that variable is out of the mix. You can base your decision on when to “try” more on timing/age spans.
IF you are doing your best to strategize/schedule that new family member’s entry to your home (which of course isn’t an exact manipulatable science), your “wait until they were at least 3” sounds like a very doable span!
When I think back to the biggest “challenges” since our twosome’s birth, clearly those initial “pre-sleeping through the night” days were right up there topping the list! Second most “challenging”? Hands down, potty training! In your shoes, I’d ideally wait until that mess-intensive (and occasionally frustrating) undertaking was completed.
 |
 |
You’ve already indicated a desire to wait for them to “understand and do some things themselves”. Clearly the more that the boys can “do” and their increased play together (less reliant on you) will be a big help whenever you are ready to bring a fully-dependent newborn into your family. We waited to transition our twins to their “big kid beds” until well after they were fully potty-trained. (We preferred a middle of the night potty call to a wandering, disoriented toddler!) Ours were in tented (read: safely contained preventing another crib-escape broken bone, which we DID have) cribs until 3 1/2 +. By that time, they were WELL able to acknowledge and obey our expectations of staying in bed, no climbing, no bouncing, etc., and the transition was smooth. That transition is NOT always a smooth one (often depending upon the individual children’s personalities and ability to “egg each other on” if in same room). Keeping twins corralled during night hours which will already have sleep challenges with a newborn in house might be ill-advised.
BUT, all this said, we’re talking about “dream” scenarios! The ultimate dream scenario is the welcoming of a new and eagerly-anticipated sibling. PLENTY of families (of twins and otherwise) have had a new little blessing before feeling 100% “ready” considering the development/age of elder sibling(s). They’ve “made it” and I daresay have flourished…and if you are “surprised”, you will, too!
Have a sit down with Daddy, and get his feelings on the issue. You may well be on the same page.
Congratulations on the happiness level in your home, and the abundance of love you have ready to share!
Thanks for a question I think many consider and don’t discuss.
Best and blessings-
Cheryl
www.Twinsights.com
Feel free to contact me with your experiences in twin potty-training, or with any twin parenting dilemnas you may have at http://www.twinsights.com. I hope to hear from you!
© Cheryl Lage, 2004-
Author of "Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice From Pregnancy Through the First Year" from Taylor Trade Publishing (2006), Cheryl is a fully-mobile, full-time mom to four-year-old fraternal twins, Darren and Sarah. Cheryl's unabashed honesty, vigilantly supportive style, and willingness to share "what works" have made her a requested speaker on a broad range of topics, twin-related, and otherwise. Check out her website @ twinsights.com.