Work at Home Success By Jill Hart
Mom Laughs By Cheryl Moeller
Simplifying Motherhood By Trish Berg
Ask A Twin Mommy By Cheryl Lage
Mothering By Heart By Cheri Fuller
Jelly Mom By Lisa Barker
Family Check-up By Sheila Wray Gregoire
Parent to Parent By Jodie Lynn
Moments for Mom By Elisabeth Corcoran
Making the Most of Marriage By Paula Friedrichsen
Decisions on Delivery x 2
March, 2007
By Cheryl Lage
QUESTION:
Dear Cheryl,
I'm in my seventh month with twins. They are going to be my sixth and seventh children. I've always had them naturally, the last three without any painkillers... My last child had to be delivered standing due to a problem with my pubic and pelvic bones. I'm very nervous as to this delivery for how will I be able to deliver standing my only way besides for c section which terrifies me (besides I'm against and frightened by epidural). Have you heard of this kind of situation?
-Twin Mom-to-be S
ANSWER:
Hi S, and congratulations on your twin pregnancy!
I want to start by saying I am not a medical doctor…so my musings/feedback on your query should be treated as only a peripheral supplement to the admonitions and directives of your medical team.
Now that I have thoroughly minimized the importance of anything I have to say, let me respond!
Birth plans and delivery desires are consummately personal and subjective, and they should be! They are impacted by our education, our philosophies, our faith, our hopes and our fears. If I had been pregnant with a single child, I might have actually made an attempt to “plan” things! Early on, I realized that with two “in there”, I’d need to “go with the flow”, as it were.
Regardless of what my dream scenario might be for their arrival (and my biggest fear---and I was indeed fearful for a good long while----was that they’d each take their own route of exit from my body), I’d need to relinquish my envisionings in deference to what was medically deemed safest for the babies, and for me.
Now I am NOT saying that you take any single doctor’s perspective as gospel truth. Ask around! However, if you ask numerous birthing professionals (include numerous traditional medical doctors as well as other birthing caregivers if you feel the need) and find there is some unanimity of advice that does not concur with your hopes, PLEASE do not let that cloud your pregnancy and delivery experience!
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Ultimately (and I know you know this), the most important thing is the health and safe delivery of your babies---and you. With your history (the pelvic and pubic bone issue/challenge of delivering your last child) combined with the fact that you are pregnant with twins (adding another layer of significant consideration), I assume you are being seen by a perinatologist/high-risk pregnancy specialist. NOT that anything will “go wrong”, but so that all attributes and aspects of your unique pregnancy can be monitored with extra care.
To answer your question, no. I have not “heard of your kind of situation” exactly. However, I most definitely have heard of numerous twin pregnant women who were virtually crushed at the prospect of being unable to proceed safely with their dream of a med-free, home-birth for their twins. Please try to keep your eye on your prizes, and don’t be too crestfallen if an epidural, c-section, induction, hospital birth or even all of the above are deemed “necessary”. Perhaps your medical team can help you can dodge some or all of the aspects you are “against/frightened by”…and if so, wonderful! But please do try to keep an open mind and heart when/if those who also stand much to lose (e.g. malpractice suits, loss of certifications, midwifery licenses, etc.) advise you in a direction that isn’t necessarily 100% of what you might hope for. They want you and those babies healthy…and I know you want the same!
Please do keep me updated with whatever advice your plural pregnancy team advises, and ultimately, let me know how (and when) you end up meeting you babies. As you know from your past experiences, while the birth (however it happens) is memorable; the product (and in this case, the products) is/are priceless.
Wishing you all the very best, some peace of mind, and confidence that those who are guiding/overseeing your pregnancy will not “steer you wrong”…that their goals are yours….healthy happy babies and Mommy!
All the best to you, and again, CONGRATULATIONS!
Cheryl
www.Twinsights.com
Feel free to contact me with your experiences in twin potty-training, or with any twin parenting dilemnas you may have at http://www.twinsights.com. I hope to hear from you!
© Cheryl Lage, 2004-
Author of "Twinspiration: Real-Life Advice From Pregnancy Through the First Year" from Taylor Trade Publishing (2006), Cheryl is a fully-mobile, full-time mom to four-year-old fraternal twins, Darren and Sarah. Cheryl's unabashed honesty, vigilantly supportive style, and willingness to share "what works" have made her a requested speaker on a broad range of topics, twin-related, and otherwise. Check out her website @ twinsights.com.