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C'Moms Speak! May 2007 (What It Means (to me) to Be A Mom)
By C'Moms Members
The following are entries from our 2007 Mother's Day Contest.
Lessons from motherhood
Being a mom was a true realization of what total vulnerability, fear, joy, and love were; instantaneously, at the sound of the first cry at delivery! These emotions simply grow and deepen each day with every new achievement and lesson learned!
Being a Mom represents a continual education on how to make all parts of my heart, mind, soul, and body available and translucent to my children; so they can learn from my mistakes and successes, and so they find me accessible and approachable in every aspect of life. This makes me strive to model God's love and humility and wisdom, knowing that those little eyes are watching me and those little hearts and minds are processing everything that I do and say!
Being a Mom reminds me to value what truly matters... a hard challenge many days! To value the "moment" and the people in my life, not the tangible. To steal a hug or cuddle time, instead of doing that last chore. The chores can wait until they are asleep, and chores will always haunt me through life. Those huggable moments with my children are fleeting, and I want to grasp each one! I want to seize each new experience as exciting and personally enriching!
Being a Mom has taught me what true strength and determination and endurance are! Seeing my kids try unrelentingly to achieve a new goal, even simply the task of rolling over as an infant! Seeing my own strength bestowed by God to do the chores, protect my kids, complete activities, go without sleep when they are young or sick... all while being stable, gentle, organized, and willing to repeat the day's tasks all over again the next day....after day....after day!
Being a Mom has taught me that many times I don't know much at all!! That I can not be a "rock," I must seek support and guidance, and that is okay! That is exactly what I try and teach my kids: you aren't supposed to know it ALL! Ask and be willing to try new things without fearing failure. Every lesson, win or lose, is important and in God's plan!
Seeing my children love and learn has helped me to come to God with the faith of a child: pure, in awe, secure, vulnerable, and with a listening heart!
Being a Mom means loving someone more than yourself, to be willing to sacrifice anything, including your own life, to see that our children are loved, protected, successful, and walking in the light of Christ! Being a Mom gives me true honor and a joy unattainable by any other means! Motherhood is a gift from God, that I treasure beyond expression!
A calling like no other
Motherhood is a calling like no other. Only our children can lift our spirits sky high one second, and send them into the pits of despair in the next! It is the only job that requires unlimited skills, with no training whatsoever; but it has the best benefits package, in the form of hugs, kisses, and never ending love. The pension plan comes with cute bundles of sweet smelling critters we like to call grandchildren.
I am so thankful that God called me to raise my three blessings. There are no words to describe how you feel when those sticky lips connect with yours, and those sweet little words “I love you, mama!” settle in your ears; or when you get home from the store and your six year old runs into your arms saying, “I missed you mom”; or the wonder of when your fifteen year old thanks you, for always being there for her.
I could not imagine how empty my life would be, if not for my children. I am truly blessed!
Motherhood is every job
I have come to discover that a woman truly worthy of the title "mom" is one filled with unconditional love, one who will give up her time, her heart, and her life for another.
A mom is always there to kiss a boo-boo and make it better. Being a mom requires more then teaching, it requires learning as well. Some would say it is give and take, but "take" is such a nasty word; it brings to mind the image of a clenched fist that must be pried open. I think a better phrase would be give and receive, for both mother and child to give freely.
A mom must learn to adapt. For she is destined to play many roles...
She will be a defender, protecting her child from any threat, whether real or imagined. Occasionally, she must turn on the light to prove there are no monsters lying in wait to attack. At times she must hunt down a creepy crawly invader, and end it’s short life, to protect her little one from a possible bite. Sometimes she must stand up for her child, when someone mistreats him. A child always knows they can run to mom, and she will make everything okay.
She will be an actress. She will have to pretend to be a dog or horse. She will have to pretend to be a superhero flying through the air. She will have to pretend to be strong when she feels like she’s falling apart inside.
She will be a chef. She may only know how to make frozen pizzas and macaroni and cheese, but she must put food on the table regardless of her culinary skills.
She will be a singer. Children love soothing songs sung softly in the middle of the night, even if their mother thinks she sounds like a train wreck.
She will be a manager. Even if she is not naturally bossy, she is thrust into a leadership position and she must manage money, time, resources, and people.
She will be an example. Whether good or bad, her children will look up to her and repeat the things she says and does.
In essence, motherhood is not merely a job, it is every job. It is constant, and it is never ending. No other vocation takes so much out of you, or puts so much into you. This is one job a woman can not quit. This is what God created and intended us to be; and He will hold us in His loving arms and equip us with everything we need. We are moms, but we are so much more then that. We are God’s provision for our children.
To me, being a mom is a gift and joy. It's separation of myself, but connection to something so much a part of me, that I forget what part is me, and what part is a life that I can see, feel, and watch; growing within me, and then around me.
Being a mom means tears, laughter, worry, and fears. It means putting myself aside. It means taking the time to share the joys and trials. It's the dimpled smiles that photograph my mind with memories and stories, that I hope to someday share with my grandchildren.
It's sleepless nights and days that blend together. It's when sending messages to myself is the only way to remember to eat breakfast (but then I have to remember to send the messages...).
It's being steadfast in my values, firm in my morals, holding to my desire to mold the life that God chose to create within me.
I'm a teacher, chef, housekeeper, a "personal trainer" for shaping a life that I pray will one day be as blessed as I have been by being a mom. Being a mom to me is experiencing life in it's most amazing form, through watching the milestones pass like a tape in fast-forward, and not regretting for one second what it took to get there.
Tiny infants into Children of God
I am a mom. It is my greatest fear and greatest joy. Of everything I possess, my children are the only things I can take to heaven with me. I am responsible for molding tiny infants into children of God. Therefore it's the greatest fear, and the greatest joy; because nothing can compare with an infant reaching and crying for the person she loves, even though she can't say my name. The 3 year old wrapping sticky arms around my neck, kissing me, and saying,"I wuv you, Mommy." The 5 year old son writing me a note that says,"U ar a grat mom. I luv u." and delivering it with a fierce boy hug and kiss.
This is what I was born to do, all I have ever wanted. It's what I wish to be known for; not what personal accomplishments I have, but what my children think of me when they are parents. My children have made me rely on the Lord more than I ever have before. I am only raising what He has loaned me, and someday I must return them. If I can give my children back loving Him more than when He loaned them to me, than I can say,"I am a mom, by His grace, I am a mom."
Piece of my heart
There are many things to be said about what it means to be a mom. I’ve heard every cliché in the book, and believe me, a lot are true. Being a mom is, yes, carrying a child inside you for 9 months and enduring painful labor to see them for the first time; but it can also mean that you wait patiently while an agency calls, to rescue a child whose birth mother cannot or does not want to care for them.
Being a mom is having a piece of your heart walking around on the earth outside your body. Being a mom is sacrificing things you never thought you would give up for anyone. Being a mom is getting over being squeamish when someone poops, pukes, or pees on you and your favorite shirt. Being a mom is the most rewarding thing you will experience, and yet in the same way, the most difficult thing to do.
For me, in 3 years of being a mom, I have found all of the above to be true. I’ve seen myself do without sleep, food, fun, relationships, hobbies: all for the well being of my son. I have worried over him when he was sick, rejoiced when he was happy and laughing. I have cried out to Jesus for help when I saw him being placed in a helicopter to be flown an hour away to a special Children's Hospital, because they thought there wasn’t time to drive. I have sang about God’s faithfulness each night and prayed and cuddled with him as he fell asleep. I have loved and been loved.
But today, having my firstborn taken from me, I am seeing motherhood in a whole new light. For me, being a mom is realizing that no matter how hard and trying this new situation is, I believe that it is for the best. Somehow, I know that although being with mommy is what I want for my son; in the midst of my financial, marital, and job turmoil, the best place for him is somewhere else. For me, being his mom is admitting that right now someone else CAN care for him better than me. My heart aches because I miss his voice and his touch so much, but I know in my heart and in my mind that he needs to be where he is, until I can resolve some issues in my heart and in my life. And when God is ready, I will be here with open arms to welcome him back home. For me, being a mom means letting go so God can work in me, but mostly, so God can protect my son.
It means getting a second chance
Although motherhood has never been easy, we have come a long way since Adam and Eve with disposable diapers, breast pumps, and all the other modern day conveniences. Eve would probably say we have it easy, but unfortunately being a mother today brings controversy at every angle. In a time where statistically 4 out of 10 babies are born out of wed-lock, and over 1 million babies are killed by abortion each year, it's clear that the structured family God intended us to have is fading fast.
I was not brought up in a Christian environment. My parents had been divorced as long as I could remember. My mom was both mother and father in our home, raising three kids, supporting us both emotionally and financially. Back then if you asked me what being a mother was... I would have told you a different story. I was so very lost! When I was 16 I got pregnant. I had been with the father for over a year and thought I loved him. The way I was brought up "love" gave you a license to fornicate.
When I found out I was pregnant I was scared, but in a way I was also excited. I was young and naive and thought being a mother would be fun. I was also scared: scared about what everyone else would have to say about it, and for a good reason. My brothers girlfriend had already had 2 abortions and my closest friend had just had an abortion a month before this. They both confided in me and I knew they didn't want to have abortions. They were forced into it by every single person that had authority in their lives! That's exactly what I was afraid of, and that's exactly what happened to me when I told my mother, father and brothers. They all said that having a baby so young would ruin my life and ruin my boyfriends life. No one cared about the life that was inside me, and part of me. No one valued the little baby God had created. No one but me!
I have 3 living children now. I still mourn the loss of my 1st. I have been blessed to have established a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am so thankful that I have been forgiven. I see my 3 children as proof of that forgiveness. I am over joyed with the love I have for my children. It is a love so great and powerful that it could only be compared to the love of our creator, the love of God.
We live in a society today that, sadly, does not recognize the value and blessing of a child. Abortion is still on the rise, and liberal politicians would have us think that a unborn child is just a choice. As a Christian, to me, it is a joy, privilege, and honor to be a mother; nurturing, training, and caring for the needs of my children. It is a noble calling, and worthy of any personal sacrifice it may require of me or of anyone.
When I read the title to this contest "What it means (to me) to be a mom" I thought of all these things but most of all I thought to myself "it means getting a second chance!"
Being a mother is not about me
Nothing is my own. Sure, I have items that I claim to be mine (e.g., cell phone, purse, chap stick, keys, jewelry), but when it comes down to it I treasure no material things like I treasure calm quiet children. If it will keep peace in the store, in the house, or at church, I’ll be the first to give these items up.
No time is for me. I prepare to exercise in my living room (forget a gym), around piles of snacks, toys, and books lying around the floor that double as obstacles for me and entertainment for the baby; just so I can squeeze in a few minutes of exercise. It's the same routine when it is time to take a shower. I feel lucky on the days I get to shower, put make up on, or get my hair done. The (me) time I once took for granted as my own is no longer mine. There is no time for myself.
I quit my job (which I loved) to have my days filled with baby food, laundry, diapers, school work, helping in classrooms, chauffeuring to dance and other activities, cooking, and cleaning. I never realized staying home to be with the kids could be so busy. It is much more “work” than my job ever was.
I have no time alone with my husband. Remember going out to dinner, relaxing and chatting about the little things that happened during the week? Yea, me neither. Going out to dinner now is much more of a chore than any other work I do around the house. Waiters see us coming with the baby and groan. Images of breadcrumbs in the carpet, spilt milk, screaming babies, and irritable parents, make them draw straws for who has to wait on us. A nice dinner out is a thing of the past.
So, I guess what I am saying is, being a mom means everything to me. Since I became a mother, nothing is mine, no time is my own, and no thought in my head remains about me. I spend every day with the most amazing little people in the world. I am so glad that I have them to share my stuff, time, thoughts, love, husband, and life with. God has given me no greater gift than my children and the love I have for them. Life is so much better with them in it!
-Kendra, mama bronc
Winning Entry: Life is a blessing from the Lord
If you asked me a year ago what it means to be a Mom, my answer would be totally different than it is today. Last year I was only the Mother of a healthy, beautiful baby girl, Emma. To me, motherhood was more about the doing, more about the experiencing, than anything else. I fell in love with my daughter from the moment the Lord placed her into my arms. I knew I was meant for this. To me, being a Mom meant not only meeting my daughter's physical needs, but also teaching her to love the Lord I had just come to know. It meant training her to obey my husband and myself, so she could learn to love and obey the Lord. Yes, these things are so very important; but within these past nine months, I have learned that being a Mom is so much more.
I found out I was expecting our son Noah on Emma's first birthday. I was so elated that I was going to be able to experience motherhood in the same manner with this new baby. Nothing could be better! I now know the Lord had much different plans for me.
Pretty early in my pregnancy, I learned that Noah had a very severe defect. This defect was one of the most severe to see in NICU. After a few more tests, we found out that Noah had not only this one defect, but three severe defects. The meaning of Motherhood changed drastically for me during this time. Motherhood became a time of fighting for the life of my son. It became a time for showing these doctors that even if my son doesn't make it to birth, he is a blessing from the Lord; that even if he dies an hour after birth, that my time with him is and will be just as amazing to me as the time I get to spend with my daughter.
I am now just a week away from giving birth to our son. Although being a Mom has meant meeting my daughter's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, it has become a time to advocate for my son's life, no matter how short or long it may be.
The Lord has shown me that you don't have to give birth to become a Mom. The day he opened my womb and placed his miraculous creation inside of me was the day I became a Mom. The day I had to tell the doctors that my son was not going to be aborted, was the day this became a realization.
A very full day
What does it mean, to me, to be a mom?
Well of course it means dirty diapers, scraped knees, kissed boo-boos, glue on the table, glitter on the floor. It means Legos everywhere imaginable, tents in the hall and under the table. It means Play-doh is a non-mentionable! It means green painted noses, and pipe cleaner roses. It means drive by huggings and Sharpie notes in the dryer. It means toothpaste on the bathroom mirror and shoe prints in the tub. It means sweet girly grins and love notes on the microwave. It means endless hours and sleepless nights. Pukey clothes and knotted hair. It means no monetary gain, yet abundant joy and blessing.
It means more time in prayer, asking for patience. It means more time in prayer, thankful for my blessings.
To be a mom means I have a very full day ahead of me, a day that I cannot handle on my own. I must rely on my Father, to get through it. To be a mom, to me, means having great faith in the Lord.
Most loved child
Being a mom to me means so many different things. Being a mother is my life, so it covers and colors almost every area of my life.
Being a mother means that I want to make my children feel the love that I have for them. There are times when it is hard for me to show this love, but I try to let them know that they are loved unconditionally and continuously. My greatest goal would be if my children could stand in a room with 50 other children and feel like they are the most loved child in that room.
Being a mother to me also means that I have a responsibility to provide. Being so young, there are times that I want to sit at home in a quiet room with no "chores" for the day just watching T.V., but I know that I cannot do that. I work a very stressful job, and there are days I want to quit. Knowing that I have to pay bills, to take care of my children, gives me the drive to continue on, even when I want to quit. My children are my energy.
Being a mother means that I also have to raise them to be the moral adults they need to be. I try to teach them how to act and treat others, even when faced with hard situations. I also try to teach them about Jesus, and encourage my daughter to become active and excited when it comes to the Bible. I hope that in the future, she will carry her excitement into school and work places, as she grows. I also hope that she will be a shining beacon for Christ, to all those associated with her.
These are a few answers to what it means to me to be a mom.
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